| Political Chicken |
Subject: Political Chicken by BillH on 2008/10/24 15:14:00 > >> Why did the chicken cross the road? > >> > >> BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time > >> for change! > >> The chicken wanted change! > >> JOHN McCAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he > >> recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all > >> the > >> chickens on the other side of the road. > >> HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped that > >> little > >> chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely > >> qualified to > >> ensure right from Day One that every chicken in this country gets > >> the chance > >> it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me. > >> SARAH PALIN: As a Mayor and Governor of Alaska I have fought > >> against and > >> stopped the good ol' boy chickens attempts to cross the road > >> against God's > >> will. It appears I have not fully succeeded. Where's my gun? > >> DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun? > >> GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the > >> road. We > >> just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or > >> not. The > >> chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle > >> ground here. > >> COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the > >> satellite image of the chicken crossing the road with what is > >> certainly > >> weapons of mass destruction, perhaps nuclear. We must bomb the > >> chicken > >> before it attacks us and destroys our American way of life! > >> BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken. What > >> is your > >> definition of chicken? > >> AL GORE: I invented the chicken. > >> JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I > >> am now > >> against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled > >> about the > >> chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain > >> against it. > >> AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white? We need some black > >> chickens. > >> DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't > >> realize that > >> he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road > >> before it goes > >> after the problem on the otherside of the road. What we need to > >> do is help > >> him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current > >> problems > >> before adding new problems. > >> OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, > >> which is why > >> he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the > >> chicken learn > >> from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm > >> going to give > >> this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and > >> not live > >> his life like the rest of the chickens. > >> ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe a chicken crossed > >> the road, > >> but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side > >> of the > >> road to verify the crossing. > >> BILL O'REILLY, FOX NEWS: Another left-wing pinko chicken has > >> crossed the > >> road, probably looking for another government relocation handout. > >> Get over > >> it buddy, as far as I'm concerned, you're on your own. > >> NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! > >> You can see > >> it in his eyes and the way he walks. > >> PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. > >> MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that > >> chicken was > >> going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my > >> eggs when > >> the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any > >> insider > >> information. > >> DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a > >> toad? > >> Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not > >> been told. > >> ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone. > >> GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the > >> road. Somebody > >> told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. > >> BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we > >> will be > >> listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart > >> warming story > >> of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to > >> accomplish > >> its lifelong dream of crossing the road. > >> ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. > >> JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads > >> together, > >> in peace. > >> BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2009, which will not > >> only cross > >> roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and > >> balance your > >> checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of > >> eChicken2009. This new > >> platform is much more stable and will never need to reboot. > >> ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did > >> the road > >> move beneath the chicken? > >> COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one? > >> |
