Golf definitions

* A "Paris Hilton" - an expensive hole

* A "Lewinsky" - All lip but no hole

* A "Salman Rushdie" - an impossible read

* A "Rock Hudson" - looked straight, but it wasn't.

* A "Cuban" - needed one more revolution

* An "Elton John"- a big bender that lips the rim

* An "Adolf Hitler" - two shots in the bunker

* A "Saddam Hussein" - from one bunker straight into another

* A "Yasser Arafat" - ugly and in the sand

* A "Kate Winslett" - little bit fat but otherwise perfect

* A "Glen Miller" - didn't make it over the water

* A "Rodney King" - over-clubbed

* An "O.J. Simpson" - got away with it

* A "Princess Grace" - should have taken a driver

* A "Princess Di" - shouldn't have taken a driver

* A "Michael Jackson" - gradually fading

* A "Ladyboy" - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems

* A "Condom" - safe but didn't feel real good

* A "Circus Tent" - a BIG top

* An "Anna Kournikova" - looks great, but unlikely to get a result

* A "Brazilian" - Shaves both sides of the hole

* A "Jeb Bush" - too far to the right, out of play

* A "Nancy Pelosi" - too far left, clueless on how to get home from there

* A "Barbara Streisand" - doesn't get much uglier than that