A Navy Seal walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a bin Laden.

"What's that?" asks the bartender.

The Seal replies, "two shots and a splash of water."

At $500, you can get a lot of laptop.

We get off-lease models from tigerdirect.com - I mostly stick to Dell's. They hold up well with our field sales people and come in pretty cheap.

Another option would be to look at the Dell outlet - they refurb off-lease units and let them go fairly cheap, you just need to keep an eye out - some models go fast.

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I'll put it on the list - after all, you live sooooo far away (LOL).

This one doesn't sound like an electric sewing machine - it has a Remus aftermarket exhaust - it makes a little noise.....

Not as loud as some, but you know it's coming....

It's one of those "dirty little secrets" you find out about at the worst possible time.
My RT has the same rails - just a design in the oil-head engine. There's 2 rails left and 2 right just to keep the cam chain tension. The outer part of the rail you could cheat on, it's the inner part that requires the rebuild.

Harley had the same thing for about 7 years until they converted over to hydrolic tensioners - BMW basically did the same thing in the new R designs.

The K series is an entirely different beast - quick and nimble. We're still getting to know each other.....

The passing of my Red Bike. The 1995 R1100gs.....



She did well, game me 60k miles in some 10 years, and was killed by 2 stupidly placed $13 plastic cam chain tensioner rails that require a near complete engine tear down to replace (to the tune of $2500+). The upper and lower rails broke (in many pieces)




OK, so much for feeling sad about this:


Say hello to the new member of the family!!




2002 K1200RS

That's the way the game is played.

The servicer is allowed to charge x for services and parts on a warranty repair.
They fill out a form and send it to the manufacturer who reimburses the servicer for the parts and his time.

In some cases, the PD that sold the part has to issue the credits so the servicer's account get's credited for the part purchased and them the servicer can file for the time-on-site costs.

It's basically the same for any appliance manufacturer you choose.

NOTE To Self: Better backup the database......

This weekend has got booked up - I'm going to have to pass.
Have a drink (or three) for me....

We'll try for the next one!!

The voices told me to tell you that I'm here.....

For those interested - a few of us have brought up (yet another) on-line game.

It's a simple text based game - completely free.

The guys over at Domesticlugnuts are already playing, and I've invited the guys at Domesticmisfits to join as well.

Just something to waste some time, and bash a friend in the head with a Lawn Dart....

If you're interested, it's over at Redneck Heaven

Hope to see ya there.....

Online TV - I got a bunch....

Hulu
thewb.com
Netflix
Slashcontrol.com

Also check the major stations web sites, they have full episodes of most of their programs....

*NWS* Language

(NOTE: The guy who did this works for Best Buy in KC. When BB found out that he did it, they asked him to resign - he refused. Then BB put him on an indefinate leave. BB is NEVER even mentioned in this video.....)

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Perfect!!!! Steve Jobs is so pleased....

Not only did this guy supply his own rubber bumper, but he's not holding the phone in "that" place.....

iphone nirvana has been achieved!!!!

All Hail Apple.....

There is NO reception issues - you are in error.....



(from CNN)

(Mashable) -- According to documents leaked to Boy Genius Report today, AppleCare representatives are being given a strong company line to deliver to unhappy iPhone 4 owners who complain about reception issues.

Employees are told to say that the device's reception performance "is the best we have ever shipped" and that its critical antenna flaws are "a fact of life in the wireless world." They are told not to perform service on iPhones with these problems and instead to give customers a PR-driven recitative instead.

In a nutshell, Apple knows the phone has problems but will insist that users are simply "holding it wrong."

These statements are dead ringers for CEO Steve Jobs' own assertions that the iPhone 4 antenna and reception issues do not, in fact, exist. "There is no reception issue," he told one user. But the very fact that this document exists suggests that Apple execs know there is indeed a widespread hardware flaw, even if they're unwilling to address it publicly at this time.

Outside the reality distortion field, on the other hand, we and many others have been able to duplicate the issue being discussed: When held by its sides, which are composed of a metal antenna band, the phone's reception quality drops dramatically. iPhone owners in our newsroom have seen reception decrease from five to two bars simply from holding the phone with two points of contact between the owner's hand and the antenna band.

One law firm is even preparing for a class-action lawsuit against Apple and is soliciting iPhone 4 customers to contact them about reception issues.

Also, while some folks have reported that using a bumper case prevents contact with the antenna band and preserves reception quality, AppleCare reps are being told to not give bumper cases to disgruntled users.

Here's the full text of the document as reported:

1. Keep all of the positioning statements in the BN handy -- your tone when delivering this information is important.

a. The iPhone 4's wireless performance is the best we have ever shipped. Our testing shows that iPhone 4's overall antenna performance is better than iPhone 3GS.

b. Gripping almost any mobile phone in certain places will reduce its reception. This is true of the iPhone 4, the iPhone 3GS, and many other phones we have tested. It is a fact of life in the wireless world.

c. If you are experiencing this on your iPhone 3GS, avoid covering the bottom-right side with your hand.

d. If you are experiencing this on your iPhone 4, avoid covering the black strip in the lower-left corner of the metal band.

e. The use of a case or Bumper that is made out of rubber or plastic may improve wireless performance by keeping your hand from directly covering these areas.

2. Do not perform warranty service. Use the positioning above for any customer questions or concerns.

3. Don't forget YOU STILL NEED to probe and troubleshoot. If a customer calls about their reception while the phone is sitting on a table (not being held) it is not the metal band.

4. ONLY escalate if the issue exists when the phone is not held AND you cannot resolve it.

5. We ARE NOT appeasing customers with free bumpers -- DON'T promise a free bumper to customers.

I just found this compare chart - interesting....



I like the EVO so far, and Sprint seems to cover the area's I go to pretty well....

Side by side, the X has a larger footprint, but the mechanical buttons bother me a bit (I'm tough on phones...)

From what I can find, the X's dimensions are 5.02 x 2.58 x 0.39 (127.5 x 65.5 x 9.9 mm), just a bit bigger than the EVO and weight 5.47oz (slightly lighter than EVO)...

I'm sure there's going to be a billion EVO vs. Droid X vs Iphone4 vs .....

Each will have pluses and minuses - the bottom line is what do you want to spend your $$ on and which carrier do you want to support....

I just got the EVO and for a big handed type person (like me) or for someone who want's some screen realestate (so you can see things, once again - me) - it's just fine. The bigger screen makes it nice if you want to watch video's too....

If you add on the Seido case it becomes bulkier, but still fits in the pants pocket or shirt pocket.

I've had some weird problems with FF in the past.
I'll see what needs to be adjusted.

As to the e-mail, it's a global problem. Our hosting company made a change and it all went haywire.

It's specific to them, I loaded the system into another host and it works fine.....

Ah, the world of computers and system security......

OK, what's your system, browser and what AV are you running.
I can change you thru the edit user from IE, FF and Chrome without a problem.

If you want, PM me your password so I can maybe see what you're seeing.....

Make sure to check the box that says to always attack your signature

I just added a sig to you - needs to work.....

I run 7 on an older laptop - not too bad overall.

The Micro$oft XP mode program sucks (unless you have all the accelerator hardware they want), but can get around that by downling the XP mode from Mocro$oft and using VMplayer (which is free).

I do assorted things on it - seems to work a lot better than Vista.

I have a couple of games that will only run in XP, others that will run in either - so it's a hit an miss on the compatibility stuff....

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And remeber that her first name is ALWAYS (as in Miss ALWAYS Right)....

Your Iflop not dead yet - well there's an app for that....

Ole is a farmer in Minnesota . He is in need of a new milk cow and hears about a nice one for sale over in Nordakota (that would be North Dakota for you non-Scandahoovians out there).

He drives to Nordakota, finds the farm and looks at the cow.

He reaches under to see if the cow gives milk.

When he grabs a teat and pulls....the cow farts.

Surprised, Ole looks at the farmer who's selling the cow, then reaches under to try again.

He grabs another teat, pulls, and the cow farts again.

Milk does come out however, so after some discussion with the cow's current owner, Ole decides to buy the cow.

When he gets back to Minnesota , he calls over his neighbor, Sven, and says, 'Hey, Sven, come and look at dis ere new cow I yust bought. Pull her teat, and see vat happens.'

Sven reaches under, pulls the teat...the cow farts.

Sven looks at Ole and says, You bought dis here cow over in Nordakota, didn't yah?'

Ole is very surprised since he hadn't told Sven about his trip.

Ole replies, 'Yah, dats right. But how did yah know?'

Sven says, 'My wife is from Nordakota.'

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He's trying out for the CG morale officer.....

Jamaica!

Techno Chicken......

You have a 2 story warehouse.....


You have a bunch of junk sitting around......


You have 4 musicians and 60 engineers......


What to do???????


Build a Rube Goldberg machine and shoot a music video, of course......

Hype alert: Why cyberspace isn’t, and will never be, nirvana

By Clifford Stoll | NEWSWEEK

From the magazine issue dated Feb 27, 1995

After two decades online, I’m perplexed. It’s not that I haven’t had a gas of a good time on the Internet. I’ve met great people and even caught a hacker or two. But today, I’m uneasy about this most trendy and oversold community. Visionaries see a future of telecommuting workers, interactive libraries and multimedia classrooms. They speak of electronic town meetings and virtual communities. Commerce and business will shift from offices and malls to networks and modems. And the freedom of digital networks will make government more democratic.

Baloney. Do our computer pundits lack all common sense? The truth in no online database will replace your daily newspaper, no CD-ROM can take the place of a competent teacher and no computer network will change the way government works.

Consider today’s online world. The Usenet, a worldwide bulletin board, allows anyone to post messages across the nation. Your word gets out, leapfrogging editors and publishers. Every voice can be heard cheaply and instantly. The result? Every voice is heard. The cacophany more closely resembles citizens band radio, complete with handles, harrasment, and anonymous threats. When most everyone shouts, few listen. How about electronic publishing? Try reading a book on disc. At best, it’s an unpleasant chore: the myopic glow of a clunky computer replaces the friendly pages of a book. And you can’t tote that laptop to the beach. Yet Nicholas Negroponte, director of the MIT Media Lab, predicts that we’ll soon buy books and newspapers straight over the Intenet. Uh, sure.

What the Internet hucksters won’t tell you is that the Internet is one big ocean of unedited data, without any pretense of completeness. Lacking editors, reviewers or critics, the Internet has become a wasteland of unfiltered data. You don’t know what to ignore and what’s worth reading. Logged onto the World Wide Web, I hunt for the date of the Battle of Trafalgar. Hundreds of files show up, and it takes 15 minutes to unravel them–one’s a biography written by an eighth grader, the second is a computer game that doesn’t work and the third is an image of a London monument. None answers my question, and my search is periodically interrupted by messages like, “Too many connectios, try again later.”

Won’t the Internet be useful in governing? Internet addicts clamor for government reports. But when Andy Spano ran for county executive in Westchester County, N.Y., he put every press release and position paper onto a bulletin board. In that affluent county, with plenty of computer companies, how many voters logged in? Fewer than 30. Not a good omen.

Point and click:

Then there are those pushing computers into schools. We’re told that multimedia will make schoolwork easy and fun. Students will happily learn from animated characters while taught by expertly tailored software.Who needs teachers when you’ve got computer-aided education? Bah. These expensive toys are difficult to use in classrooms and require extensive teacher training. Sure, kids love videogames–but think of your own experience: can you recall even one educational filmstrip of decades past? I’ll bet you remember the two or three great teachers who made a difference in your life.

Then there’s cyberbusiness. We’re promised instant catalog shopping–just point and click for great deals. We’ll order airline tickets over the network, make restaurant reservations and negotiate sales contracts. Stores will become obselete. So how come my local mall does more business in an afternoon than the entire Internet handles in a month? Even if there were a trustworthy way to send money over the Internet–which there isn’t–the network is missing a most essential ingredient of capitalism: salespeople.

What’s missing from this electronic wonderland? Human contact. Discount the fawning techno-burble about virtual communities. Computers and networks isolate us from one another. A network chat line is a limp substitute for meeting friends over coffee. No interactive multimedia display comes close to the excitement of a live concert. And who’d prefer cybersex to the real thing? While the Internet beckons brightly, seductively flashing an icon of knowledge-as-power, this nonplace lures us to surrender our time on earth. A poor substitute it is, this virtual reality where frustration is legion and where–in the holy names of Education and Progress–important aspects of human interactions are relentlessly devalued.

STOLL is the author of “Silicon Snake Oil–Second Thoughts on the Information Highway” to be published by Doubleday in April.

And it's on sale for only $97!!!!

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Take a look here for an idea.....
CNET Smartphone Editors Choice

And another thing - I was talking with my AT&T rep; she told me that AT&T is in the midst of a major data upgrade on their celluar side (because of the iPhone overload).

The upgrade is supposed to include the installation of additional cell towers to take care of coverage problems as well....

She didn't not know when it was going to be completed.

You own your number.

As to the AT&T vs. Verizon vs. XXX - I can tell you that Verizon does get a signal in a lot of places where AT&T/Sprint/T-Mobile doesn't.

If you're mostly in major metropolitan area's, AT&T is a better fit for voice and data.

If you're out in the boonies, then Verizon.
If you have internation needs, then I would go with AT&T

Data speeds are subjective - but my company uses Verizon, I use AT&T and a few other folks use Sprint.

When it comes to downloading stuff, running videos and such (I'm in a city environment, inside a warehouse), Sprint works best, then AT&T, then Verizon....

If I step outside, then it's AT&T, Sprint then Verizon.

I would take a look at the coverage maps to get an idea of who will give you the best service in the area's you travel....

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AT&T disables the ability to turn on DUN in the phone registry (this is for WM phones), the 8525 did not have DUN available by default.

It's a simple fix to turn on the DUN feature on any of the WM phones.

Although, this only becomes an issue if you want to have the ability to use the phone as a wireless modem.

The iPhone data plan is $30 a month.

I've thought of an iPhone a few times, but I can still do more with my old 8525 and I ever could with an iPhone.

You might want to look at the Tilt2 instead.....

What a weekend....
Spent all day yesterday at the office updating the servers
Today I finally got out and replaced the front brakes on the BMW (GS), got the throttle bodies balanced and amazingly even started the dirt-catcher (a.k.a. The Vette).

I need a nap now.....

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OK, this guy looks a bit cooler.....

At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of "Guilty with an explanation."

The judge asked me what my explanation was, so I told my story.

"Your Honor," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept.

I was met with: 'Hi! I'm Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?'

I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket science.' Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?'

'Fine', I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck and finish me off?

My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a zap!

Complete darkness and the power went off! 'Oh, maintenance is working. Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda said, and headed for the door.

'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vise alone are you?' I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy puppy ... the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back.'

Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, maintenance men extraordinaire, found me half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!

After exchanging a polite 'Hi, how's it going' type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.

Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible 'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.'

'You bet, take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store.

Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo sorry!' The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'

And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps."

The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said 'Case Dismissed!!'

It's Friday, I dub it VIKING METAL DAY!
(why not? And don't be hatin that you didn't think of it.....)

Check your inbox, I got a couple of questions....

Guy goes into a bar, there's a robot bartender.

The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini."

The robot brings back the best martini ever and says to the man, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "168".
The robot then proceeds to talk about physics, space exploration and medical technology. The guy leaves, but he is curious, so he goes back into the bar.

The robot bartender says, "What will you have?" The guy
says, "Martini". Again, the robot makes a great martini, gives it to the man and says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "100."
The robot then starts to talk about Nascar, Budweiser and John Deere tractors.

The guy leaves, but finds it very interesting, so he thinks he will try it one more time. He goes back into the bar.

The robot says, "What will you have?" The guy says, "Martini", and the robot brings him another great
martini. The robot then says, "What's your IQ?" The guy says, "Uh, about 50."

The robot leans in real close and says, "So, you people still happy you voted for Obama?"

I would love to see these guys in concert.....

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All About Oodles

Nothing says "I Love You" like a mop and a bucket.....