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CentralCoaster [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Senior Guru
San Diego, CA
9454 Posts
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I really don't get it. Sure, at first glance it sounds cheaper to fill your airport or gas station, or *gasp* your employees' bathroom with sand paper, and you can fit more on a roll. Even the nice offices downtown have this shit. In the unfortunate incident where you can't stand down and deploy your missiles at home, you're left facing longer and more painful wipes, and a red ass while you head to your next work meeting still worried if you got all your loose ends tied up, or if you just gave up after taking off the first few layers of skin. :sad5: Only a sadistic business owner would put these jumbo rolls of irritation on their bathroom walls. It surely doesn't save money, more ends up on the floor, and you run through half the roll and plug the toilet over what might take you 6 sheets at home. Either that or you have workers avoiding it entirely, clenching all day and watching the clock like a hawk, waiting to get home and get in touch with a roll of double-ply quilted TP tenderness. You really can't win, whether you're a folder mimicking an origami master to make these half-width sheets fit a full-size ass, or whether you're a crumpler or hand mummy testing your pain threshold dragging those paper edges across your valley floor. I believe a revolution is in order. We need to stand up for our rights to sit down in comfort. Next time you see a single ply roll that's long enough to reach orbit, run the end down into the toilet and flush until it reaches the ocean.
Posted on: 2009/4/22 16:46
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TommyT-Bone Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Chair-man of the bored
Homestead USA
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I believe that's how this expression evolved.



" Tough Shit "







..... :booty: ..... :pottytrain4: .....




.....
Posted on: 2009/4/22 16:57
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Sweet90 Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Elite Guru
Edmonton, Alberta
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Bored today Kevin?

Jim
Posted on: 2009/4/22 17:17
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Aardwolf Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Senior Guru
Fremont, WI
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Carry some baby ass wipes in your man purse.
Posted on: 2009/4/22 17:37
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teebee Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
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Lakin, Kansas 67860
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I Feel for you man.....
Posted on: 2009/4/22 17:56
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CSS996 Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Mega Guru
Central PA
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I used to bring the real stuff from home because the stuff at the office was so bad.

A new meaning to "roll your own".
Posted on: 2009/4/22 20:24
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bmwgsa Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
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Earth
735 Posts
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You're missing the point.

At least you get single ply - it could be worse. You sit and they're OUT!

Then it's a simple descision,

left hand or right hand.....
Posted on: 2009/4/22 20:31
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�It�s all devastatingly true � except the bits that are lies�

I am fervently hoping to qualify for the category of "ageless" as opposed to "maturity impaired".
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CentralCoaster Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
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San Diego, CA
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I've yet to find that mythical triple-ply in the aisles of my local grocery store.

Until then I'll stick with quilted northern.

My roomate at my last place used to steal the giant rolls from the movie theatre. I guess some people have no standards. I'd sign up for food stamps before I start going cheap on TP.
Posted on: 2009/4/22 20:33
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1985 Z51, ZF6
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TommyT-Bone Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Chair-man of the bored
Homestead USA
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This topic has been very enlightening.


Top 100 Thread


Vote now!


Yes ____________



No ____________






_________________________________________________________
Posted on: 2009/4/22 20:39
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pianoguy Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Guru Emeritus
Apple Valley, MN
14762 Posts
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I remember up at Brainerd International Raceway, in the bathroom on turn 6, there was a toilet paper holder in one stall that held 4 rolls. Somebody had written Coarse, Medium, Fine and Cross-Cut next to them - LMAO!
Posted on: 2009/4/22 21:24
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1996 LT4

�Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.�- Jack Handey
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Sweet90 Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Elite Guru
Edmonton, Alberta
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Quote:

TommyT-Bone wrote:
This topic has been very enlightening.


Top 100 Thread


Vote now!


Yes ____________



No _____X_______

_________________________________________________________


Jim
Posted on: 2009/4/22 21:44
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pianoguy Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Guru Emeritus
Apple Valley, MN
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Quote:

CentralCoaster wrote:
I've yet to find that mythical triple-ply in the aisles of my local grocery store.

Until then I'll stick with quilted northern.

My roomate at my last place used to steal the giant rolls from the movie theatre. I guess some people have no standards. I'd sign up for food stamps before I start going cheap on TP.


You really should move up to Cottonelle.
Posted on: 2009/4/22 22:39
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1996 LT4

�Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.�- Jack Handey
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red_johnny Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
On Sabbatical
Augusta, GA (85 383 stroker)
3213 Posts
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Well, it could be worse. I have entered a stall that was empty and there was no time for the explosion was near. T-shirts work wonders....lol! Or there is always the "1 finger check!"
Posted on: 2009/4/22 23:28
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Sweet90 Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Elite Guru
Edmonton, Alberta
1143 Posts
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Does any one think this thread can get any shittier?

Jim
Posted on: 2009/4/22 23:37
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CentralCoaster Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Senior Guru
San Diego, CA
9454 Posts
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In related news:

American taste for soft toilet roll 'worse than driving Hummers'
Extra-soft, quilted and multi-ply toilet roll made from virgin wood causes more damage than gas-guzzlers, fast food or McMansions, say campaigners



http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment ... eb/26/toilet-roll-america
Posted on: 2009/4/22 23:41
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Matatk Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
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SW Chicago Burbs
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I hate super soft toilet paper, so the 1 ply actually doesn't bother me. All that super quilted extra soft blah blah blah....like wiping your ass with a blanket. No thanks.
Posted on: 2009/4/23 1:09
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2002 EBM convertible, Magnusson supercharger, cam, headers, etc.
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Matatk Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
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Quote:

Aardwolf wrote:
Carry some baby ass wipes in your man purse.


They make this thing called tucks - I used to have to buy it for my boss at one of my old jobs. I was embarrassed to buy it but oh well. It's adult baby wipes.
Posted on: 2009/4/23 1:10
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1989 Corvette...RIP
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400hp427vette Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Senior Guru
Long Island, NY
373 Posts
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Quote:

Matatk wrote:
I hate super soft toilet paper, so the 1 ply actually doesn't bother me. All that super quilted extra soft blah blah blah....like wiping your ass with a blanket. No thanks.


I couldn't agree more. I use scott's cheap stuff.
Posted on: 2009/4/23 1:26
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CSS996 Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Mega Guru
Central PA
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I use sheep...
Posted on: 2009/4/23 2:27
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CentralCoaster Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
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San Diego, CA
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When i'm rich, I'm going to have a herd of bunny rabbits in a dispenser in my bathroom for that purpose.
Posted on: 2009/4/23 2:29
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bogus Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Grand Imperial Pooh-Bah
San Pedro, CA
20656 Posts
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When I worked for the state, they used a Scotts TP... model number 502, IIRC. I mean, I got enough ops to stare at the unopened package, you know... but I always figured that the 502 was less a model number and more a grit rating.
Posted on: 2009/4/23 3:07
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Education is the best tool to overcome irrational fear. - me

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TommyT-Bone Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Chair-man of the bored
Homestead USA
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You could just take a dump while running and hope it doesn't catch up to you.
Posted on: 2009/4/23 3:09
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bogus Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Grand Imperial Pooh-Bah
San Pedro, CA
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oh, Kev, check out this site:

www.toiletpaperworld.com

You can even become a MEMBER!!!!
Posted on: 2009/4/23 3:10
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Dads90 Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
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Pearland, Tx
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Apparently we are spoiled here in the US. Europe uses the recycled single ply paper, and no one complains (so they say). The two bear commercial (can't remember the brand) makes me want to wipe my butt on the TV. I CAN'T STAND IT !!! I was a big hunter in my younger days and used everything but poison ivy.
Posted on: 2009/4/23 3:21
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1990 Silver Blue Metallic, ZF6, Hurst shifter, Z51, Dana 44 3.33 ratio, FX3 system, mostly stock.
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TommyT-Bone Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Chair-man of the bored
Homestead USA
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Quote:

Dads90 wrote:
I was a big hunter in my younger days and used everything but poison ivy.


You reminded me of a funny story. When we were kids, we used to go camping up at Turtle Pond outside Boston. We brought every conceivable thing with us. One of us (I won't say who) had to eradicate some waste. There was a big rock on the trailhead. One that basically everybody has to go by while walking the path. It was on that rock that the remnants were deposited. I just chuckled again at the thought of the next group to walk that path finding a special trail marker on top of that rock.
Posted on: 2009/4/23 3:39
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CentralCoaster Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
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San Diego, CA
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Quote:

Dads90 wrote:
Apparently we are spoiled here in the US. Europe uses the recycled single ply paper, and no one complains (so they say).


Well they can brag about how burly they are for wiping with pine cones, but really it's nothing to be proud of.

I bet you blow your nose with printer paper too.
Posted on: 2009/4/23 15:15
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Dads90 Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Guru
Pearland, Tx
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Quote:

CentralCoaster wrote:
Quote:

Dads90 wrote:
Apparently we are spoiled here in the US. Europe uses the recycled single ply paper, and no one complains (so they say).


Well they can brag about how burly they are for wiping with pine cones, but really it's nothing to be proud of.

I bet you blow your nose with printer paper too.

I do use paper towels for my nose, the pretty puffy stuff, I blow thru it in one blast. I then triple it up. Of course, the pretty box matches our decor.
Posted on: 2009/4/24 4:36
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VetteUSA Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Guru Newb
103 Posts
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Gimme the quadruple-ply if they got it. I don't like wiping my ass with sandpaper, so i get the good stuff.
Posted on: 2009/5/22 5:40
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CentralCoaster Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Senior Guru
San Diego, CA
9454 Posts
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Quilted Northern is the good stuff!

Thick and soft. You'd probably use less of it too.
Posted on: 2009/5/22 15:49
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djxib Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Senior Guru
North Georgia
456 Posts
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2008/8/23 11:49



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This thread needs a link to today's HCF...
Posted on: 2011/7/22 12:15
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1996 Greenwood Collectors Edition LT4

Previously 1992 Convertible Polo Green. 383 LT1/LT4 forged/balanced. V7-YSi, Alky. 608RWHP... Now sitting at a dismantler with a salvage title. Still runs...
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Matatk Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
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SW Chicago Burbs
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Quote:

djxib wrote:
This thread needs a link to today's HCF...


The post above yours was spam. He gone.

Matthew
Posted on: 2011/7/22 12:46
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1989 Corvette...RIP
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JeffK Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Elite Guru
High Point, NC
1440 Posts
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John Wayne toilet paper..Rough and tough and doesn't take shit off of anyone.
Posted on: 2011/7/22 16:40
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screamin_conure Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Senior Guru
Northwest Indiana
346 Posts
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2009/10/20 20:55



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You guys are KILLING me!!! I'm reading this thread and cracking up!!

"Stand down and deploy your missiles at home."

That's just the best!
Posted on: 2011/7/22 16:55
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flyboy Re: [RANT] Single ply toilet paper.
Elite Guru
Westmont, Il.
2632 Posts
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The tenants were stealing the good stuff at the buildings I worked at in downtown Chicago so they went to the big rolls. Something's better than nothing.
I've been carrying a handkerchief in my back pocket for as long as I remember. It's come in handy more than once for something besides blowing my nose.
Posted on: 2011/7/22 17:23
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If it's too loud, you're too old.
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