> Dear Internal Revenue Service:
> Enclosed you will find my 2008 tax return showing I
> owe $3,407.00 in taxes.
>
> Please note the attached article from the USA Today
> newspaper; dated 12 November, wherein you will see
> the Pentagon (Department of Defense) is paying
> $171.50 per hammer and NASApaid $600.00 per toilet
> seat.
>
> I am enclosing four (4) toilet seats (valued @
> $2,400) and six (6) hammers valued @ $1,029), which
> I secured at Home Depot, bringing my total
> remittance to $3,429.00.
>
> Please apply the overpayment of $22.00 to the
> 'Presidential Election Fund,' as noted on my return.
>
> You can do this inexpensively by sending them one
> (1) 1.5' Phillips Head screw (see aforementioned
> article from USA Today newspaper detailing how
> H.U.D. Pays $22.00 each for 1.5'Phillips Head
> Screws). One screw is enclosed for your convenience.
>
> It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year
> and I look forward to paying it again next year.
>
> Sincerely, A Satisfied Taxpayer