I'm pretty old, those people were the celebrities during my youth. Great characters, who know how to be bawdy without being rude.

Some of those quips are awesome.

Got this in an email, thought I'd share.


FOR THOSE OF US WHO REMEMBER

Hollywood Squares:
These great questions and answers are from the days when ' Hollywood Squares' game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course..

Q.. Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness!

(The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads underwater long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years...
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A.. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency..

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say 'I Love You'?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty..

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q.. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A.. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps.. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures..

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A.. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A.. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh

Like the bargain bin at Sears Hardware!

The previous owner should have just bought a GS. Lots of expense for a dressed up LT1. It's kind of cool, but I wouldn't pay a premium for it.

Quote:

You realize that to categorize people by race is by definition racist?

I remember seeing pickled eggs in bars. I never touched them.

Quote:

The difference is, the bank simply wants money from you. The government has a keen interest in GM for a variety of reasons. The UAW is one big one. We'll never get our money back from GM, but I'm still on the fence as to whether the bailout was the right thing to do or not. I'm leaning towards saying it was, and I was totally against it.

But, the proof will be in the pudding. If the C7 maintains the heritage, that would be a good thing. I wasn't saying for sure that the government influence would mess up the Vette, just that it was a concern. However I've seen the government in action, and the potential for a disaster is there.

Quote:

Snow flurries are normal for us this time of year! And that's what I'll be doing Saturday too.

Didn't get to the lights last weekend because I bought a black friday TV at Best Buy. I've been watching the thing for a week... wow. I went from a 27" standard definition CRT TV to a 50" Plasma HDTV. It's amazing, and the features they pack into the blu-ray players is mind boggling.

I love that concept car Bill.

The concern I'd have about the C7 is the influence of government ownership. I'm ok with efficency, but making the Corvette "green" can lead to all kinds of undesirable modifications.

California is a beautiful place filled with some of the nuttiest people on earth.

Appologies to Andy... CC not so much. (kidding).

Quote:

Problem is, you're in an association and they have lots of stupid rules. For $100-$150 a month I can hire people to do all the outdoor maintenace on my house.

I'm reasonably insulated from the housing bubble/crisis. I live in an area where home values didn't have a big rise. I didn't use any crazy bank "products". I have a fixed rate mortgage and have reasonable equity in the house. Finally, I have no plans to move.

I'm very lucky. I have a lot of sympathy for young couples just starting out who got caught up in this craziness.

However, I have no sympathy for those that bought McMansions on a shoestring with stupid loans assuming that the bubble would last forever. They gambled, they lost, craps!

So, Bryant is not just an idiot, he's a cheap idiot.

Security guard finds and returns the $50k rock, and Bryant gives him a big "Thank You".

I certainly hope karma is in play for that.

I bought new floor mats this year. Probably have 1000 miles with them in the car. They are red with the C4 logo. I paid about $120 for them. I'll sell them for $65 + actual shipping.

I have a brand new, unused antenna motor for an 87. I'll sell that for $45 + actual shipping.

Finally, I have an air filter cover, unmolested with screws. $15 + actual shipping.

Pics available on request.

I guess living by the Great Lakes isn't so bad after all.

Not saying I will or won't have another Vette. I have regrets getting rid of the old girl, but she's too much of a handful for me. Someone is going to get a nice car, I hope whoever gets it, can get it to where it needs to be.

I pulled the trigger on an 08 TL. Traded the Camry and the Corvette.

Drove an 2008 Acura TL today. Very nice car. 260hp, sits and drives nice.

I'm going to sleep on it.

The redesigned Taurus is impressive... and a massive car.

They gave me a rough diagnosis. If you put your hand on the engine, you can feel the knock. That's how they speculated bottom end. The oil pressure is good, they asked about that too.

Oddly enough, I drove it today and keeping an eye on the oil pressure, I flipped the switch from oil temp to oil pressure, and it broke!

The dealer wouldn't buy it outright, but would take in in trade. He'd give me $5k - $5.5k in trade. Another 2 dealers told me flat out they didn't want the car.

I found 2 cars that interest me, but they didn't grab me. A 2010 Taurus, the redesign. It's a massive vehicle, but it's pretty nice. They want $24k for it, it has 11k miles on it. I also found a 2008 Acura TL with 35k on it. It's really nice. They want $23k for that. I could easily buy either one with my 2 trades.

I'm seriously considering just keeping the car over the winter and trying in the spring when the value of my car would be higher.

The mechanics gave me possiblities... main bearings, rod bearings or wrist pins. The knock isn't loud, and isn't noticable unless you really are listening or familiar with the car. Being that I am particular, and pay attention, I noticed it right away. Main or rod bearings are about a $500 repair, wrist pins = rebuild. My experience with this car is that it's likely the wrist pins, and if not, as soon as I spring for the mains, wrist pins or rings will fail. The mechanic said they could do a crate motor for about $4k complete with install. They didn't give me a price for the rebuild.

I can't even tell you how many times I've fixed something on this thing only to find another failure. I don't blame the car, it's old. I blame my inexprience and not fully understanding that an old car will likely need everything replaced.

Hmmmm, Tommy fined me 10 credits, you gave me 20, I'm 10 to the good. Anybody want to buy some carbon credits?

Quote:

Could it be the man who got a C in physical science in college? Could it be the man who uses as much energy in his home as 20 normal households? The Nobel Prize winner himself, Al Gore?

Quote:

There's a lot of misinformation out there on both sides. But, as ice retreats in Greenland, they're finding old Viking farming settlements.

The only thing constant is change, and I think that applies to the climate. I'm just a little suspicious of those who seem to be siezing on this in order to push an agenda.

Quote:

The planet is 4.5 billion years old, or thereabouts. Our "record" is how old? Going all the way back to 1880?! So, that's 130 years? Hmmmm, so the historical, (hysterical), record is for roughly 0.000003% of the planet's life?

I'm paniced.

More global warming, we're all doomed.

Weren't we supposed to not even have snow by 2010, sayeth the prophet, (profit?), Al Gore?

Went to the dealer. They complimented me on how nice it looked, but said they'd get back to me tomorrow with an offer.

Selling a Corvette like this is kind of like putting down a sick dog. Something that you have to do, but it's no fun.

I want to go used, and stay under $20k. I think I'll go to the local independent at lunch today and see if he'll buy the Corvette outright.

I really only have one requirement... that it goes in snow, that is, front wheel drive.

I drive 10 miles round trip to work. I drive about 7k miles a year. And my youngest child is 18, (I just bought a Hyundai I posted about). So, I could get just about anything. I think more of a sporty sedan would fit the bill. But I wouldn't be opposed to a smaller sport SUV.

An option is to just sell the Vette to a local dealer for whatever he'll give me. My Camry is an 05 XLE, with 37k miles on it. It's dull has dishwater to drive, but it always goes.

A C5 or GTO is out. If it's my only car, I won't be able to get around well in the snow, and we get a lot of it here.

I'm thinking something like a Maxima.

I've got a wedding and some other things to deal with, so my time with Vettes is over for now.

Quote:

I had a full extra quart of "oil". So I parked it, bought new injectors, had them replaced and an oil change.

I'm using amsoil synthetic in it.

Naw, that's just too much money. They said they could do a crate engine for about $4k. So, I put $6k into it for a crate and new/rebuilt transmission, and then the heater core goes. Or the wheel bearings. Or... And I'm fixing a car that I've got another $6-$7k into, and could only sell for $8k on a very good day.

This car fought me every step of the way. It wins.

Perfect advice for me. Thanks.

I had fuel in my oil on my 87. I had the injectors replaced. Brand new set. Driving it on Sunday, I noticed a noise. Took it in to the shop today. Best guesstimate is that a bearing is bad. They say they can diagnose it cheaply enough, and if it's a rod bearing, or a main bearing, it's not so bad. I'd get out for under $500. IF it's a wrist pin... it's a motor rebuild.

I give up.

I'm going to try to trade the 87 and my Camry in for something I'll find fun enough. I'm going to try to get $6k from a dealer for my car. It's actually a good price if someone wants to deal with it. I've done A LOT to this darn thing. But, for $6k, you can get a car that's not broken, so I'm not going to place an ad.

Quote:

Ain't that the truth.
I have a cell phone for only one reason, I own a C4, and WILL NOT drive the car without the cell phone with me.

I had a leaky injector. So I replaced my stock injectors on my 1987 L98. I have a set of 8 used injectors, if you want them, you pay shipping, they're yours.

Awesome.

About 7 years ago, we went on a cruise. Flew to Orlando, left out of Canaveral. Spent big money, it was Me, the wife, and 3 kids. Best vacation ever. If I can get my kids to quit spending my money faster than I make it, I'll take another. Sure beats those cruises I was on in the Navy!

Looks like you went Carnival? Where did you go, sure looks interesting.

Wow... in some ways it seems like yesterday, and in others... it seems like 100 years ago.

I love the picture of big sis holding him, too cute. Enjoy those little ones. They are the best.

I'm here at work, should be an ok day today. Tomorrow will suck big time. We have a departmental "retreat". We go to a local park, get fed lunch AND a huge line of BS. At least they'll let us go early.

I have 2 cars in 2 different shops. The Corvette is getting new injectors and a new FPR. My son's Hyundai had some rust, I'm having taken care of before winter. I'm excited to get them back. The Hyundai so my son can get on with getting his license and a job. The Corvette because I think the injectors will wake the car up a little.

JeffK did a fine job today.

http://www.corvette-guru.com/modules/ ... 34&forum=6&post_id=140351

A little yellow fever anyone? :D

I know I have the 3:07.

I have an 87, pretty similar I think.

I did mine, and I'm not a mechanic by a long shot. First, a swivel socket is different than a knuckle. Do not use a knuckle! A knuckle will allow the socket to move laterally, and that will break the plug. Ask me how I know. Once the plug is broken, you're committed.

Passenger side is the challenge, driver's side is a piece of cake. Take off the fender skirts, and allow a bunch of time. #2 and #8 will be more than a little annoying.

Be sure to replace the ICM while you're doing the rotor.

No, I'm not asking about the Hyundai, I took CC's banning warning to heart.

I'm going to replace the FPR with my injectors. Should I use an adjustable FPR. My car is stock, I doubt it matters much.

Second, one of the guys at my shop said if I really want to wake my car up, I'd put new gears in the rear. I mentioned 3:43, and he thought 3:73 would be better. I have a stock, a4 87 coupe. I thought 3:73 was too much for that car to push? Thoughts on that one?

Called Jon at FIC injectors. He's a fun guy to talk to, very personable, and interesting. Bought a set of new injectors. I sprung for the new Delphi's so I'm seriously thinking about eliminating the cold start injector.

Will also do the FPR, seems reasonable given the conditions, it's another $50 for a bbk, and I get new gaskets for the intake with it.

Throw in an oil change, and I should be set.

You're lucky, or doing something right that I'm not, or maybe a little of both.

A truck wouldn't be so good here. Lots of snow in the winter.

He's lazy and unmotivated. The car is a carrot. He's 18, only has his temps. I bought the car, let him help pick it out, and told him it's my car. In order for him to get use of the car he has to:

- Get his license.
- Get a job.

Until then, it's my toy. After he gets those two, we'll work on going to college. Kids are much different these days. I got my license the day it was legal, and bought a car off of my sister for $50 shortly after that. Dad helped me put a new axle in the car, brakes, and a tune up.

I still can't believe a car has to appear in the driveway to motivate the little turd, but other parents tell me similar stories. I suspect he has had it too good for too long, (spoiled).

The 10/100k warranty isn't transferrable. This one is red, with black side trim and a spoiler. A nice looking car. Leather seats, power windows/locks, all the stuff that you'd expect. A friend had one, and highly recommended the car. Internet research told me it's a pretty good buy, so I bought it.

Nothing special, nothing sexy. In fact, it's the opposite of the kind of car most of us want, but it's my son's first car. I posted here a while back saying I was looking for a used car for my son. I found one. A 2003 Hyundai Elantra GT. The GT badge is funny, it's a 2L, and doesn't have much horsepower. But that's ideal to keep him out of trouble. The GT refers to the trim. The car has 74k, pretty nice looking little car. It's like driving an oversized go cart.

I'm actually impressed by the car, it's really a nice value. And I kind of like putting around in it. Naturally, I have to drive it to be sure it's ok.

I'll investigate more, but I'm most likely going to order a set of injectors and change the oil!

I'm more than a little relieved that it's most likely not the rings. I have a wedding to pay for, so paying for rings would be less than ideal.

FIC rebuilt Bosch III's are the gold standard for these cars? I went to their site, I see sets of 8 Bosch III 24lb for L98, but I need 9?