1 . Never take an open stubby to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them.
3. It's tacky to take an esky to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral

DINING OUT
1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly
so as not to bruise the wine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand.

ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME
1. A centrepiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a
taxidermist.
2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his
manners.

PERSONAL HYGIENE
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this should be done in
private, using one's OWN ute keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant isn't a waste of money.
3. Extensive use of deodorant can only delay bathing by a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a no-no, it alters the taste
of finger foods and if you are a woman it can draw attention away from your jewellery

DATING
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first
date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been
wanting to go out with you ever since I read that stuff on the dunny
door two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM , others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATRE ETIQUETTE
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the
movie ends.
2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen.
Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS

1. Livestock is a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in
your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of
place)
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A tracksuit with a cummerbund
and a clean football jumper can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for the occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if
your gun's loaded and the roo's in your rifle sight.
2. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar
doesn't always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.

Sure, now you post this. You might have warned a bloke before visiting OZ, I see I committed several faux pas during my trip no doubt making a complete arse of myself! :tongue:

Casey. Please translate the following terms into American English: stubby, paddocks, esky, ute, dunny, and roo. Thanks.

With the exception of a few terms I didn't understand (see above) they sound quite a bit like rules of redneck etiquette too.
Such as:
How do you seat folks at a redneck wedding? Chevy fans on one side, Ford fans on the other.

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Ok mate, here they are:


stubby: a 375ml bottle of beer (as apposed to a "tallie", which is a 750ml bottle of beer)
paddocks: Fields
esky: large insulated food/drink container for picnics, barbecues etc
ute: utility vehicle, pickup truck
dunny: Toilet, bathroom, lavatory
roo: Kangaroo.

http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html

Thanks. Eventually, you'll probably have us all speaking Australian English. Now if I can only figure out what kind of English Pappyfreebird is speaking.

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Public education?

Cool,
Now where do you guys train those little green lizards to stand on their back legs and talk?

And how can we send the one on TV back?

I didnt know we did have a talking lizard here. Id have to see it to know if it was a genuine Australian lizard or not.

Imagine JrRifleCoach is referring to the lizard in the Geico insurance ad, but I believe the accent is supposed to be Brit not Aussie. I would have to agree the "cute" wore off that awhile ago.

I figured as much. Seems so many have no idea what a real Australian accent sounds like, yet they seem so convinced we sound like brits. Sounds nothing at all like the british despite what alot of people seem to think, none of which have ever heard and Australian accent in their lives.

Just did a search for it, and this is what i found: http://youtube.com/watch?v=xlgH61SrQeY

Not even close to Australian. Doesnt even sound remotely close.

Thanks for the clarification Case, nice to be right for a change. We aren't too bright actually, unless you say G'day or Crikey we are lost!
I ran into a bloke here in Florida, when I asked what part of OZ he was from he laughed and said the same thing you did, most Americans ask him if he is British.

No worries mate, and im sure youll agree from your stay here that we sound nothing like the brits do.

Quote:

As has been said about the Americans and Brits also holds true for for us and you Aussies:
Two peoples separated by a common language. Viva la difference!

BTW, do you know Paul Hogan?

Quote:

Now I'm not sure which is funnier, the intended version, or the one I had going in my head before I knew what the translation was

The only one I knew for sure initially was ute. I knew that "paddocks" was equivalent to "the pits" when dealing with European racers or the sporty car racing crowd here in the U.S.. But I wasn't sure what it meant in Aussie lingo.

Quote: Didn't you guys come from the same herd as did we? You just got lost due distance from the queen. We instead got pissed, started a war and kicked their arz back across the pond. Then the Democrats took over and gave the place back to any minority group that wined the loudest.

You guys got it right and kicked out winers!!!!

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Hell, as much as they and we have in common, wasn't Australia originally a penal colony? If I remember that right, that makes them even bigger renegades than us. But regardless, both of our countries are based on being rebels from the Brits, God love 'em. History is a ton of fun and has always been an interest of mine. But it is just that, history. And the kinship between these three countries is special and unique.

We were indeed a penal colony, and i reckon if they knew then what we know now, they'd have left the crooks there and come here themselves. They can have the bad food and worse weather, we will stick to the good women and better beer

Quote:
Yes mate, he and i smoke the same brand of cigarettes