One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.

I said, WHAT??!! What was that?!

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear....

You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, Lets get a pair for each outfit.

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, That's fine, honey. She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier..

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, No honey, I don't feel like it.

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, WHAT?

I then said, Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Quote:

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Yea....we'll see......LOL

Similiar to an old joke. Short story: Guy takes a beautiful woman out, wants to get in her pants. After dinner on a Saturday night he takes her to a jewlry store and buys her a very expensive diamond necklace and pays with a check. The clerk advises her she can come by on Monday when the check has cleared the bank and pick up the necklace. She is all excited and he gets what he wants, more than expected in fact. Monday the jewler calls him to tell him the check is no good, but he already knew that.

FAIL!!

My wife of 38 years reminds all the time when we were dating in high school, that our date was contingent upon what my 58 vette needed at the time. She would whine a little and get a little bitchy, but she started to realize that she became number3 after I bought a 61 chevy 2 door with a 409. #1 Vette,#2 61 Chevy, #3 Pizza # 4 my future wife. Never had the heart to tell her that pizza out ranked her, let alone the sub catagories TOOLS!!!. So she did'nt know that Snap-on. Mac and Cornwell also out ranked her. She won in the end. Guys do ever stop and think if the guy dies first she gets all the neat stuff! Cars, tools, guns, welding stuff. If she dies first I'm stuck with jewelry, Saworski crystal stuff, and a shit load of female stuff.

Holy shit! what if we die and come back as Chicks!! Wow bad Karma! Bore and Stroke would have a whole new meaning!!!

And that's when the fight started.........