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| BillH | You Know You're Getting Old When: | ||
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The Stig Moderator
 
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You know you're getting old when... You throw your back out on the toilet. You shave your ears. Your second wife calls your first wife “ma’am.” You're genuinely excited when your prescriptions arrive in the mail. You read the obits in the newspaper to check the ages of the dead people. You read a newspaper. You're bummed out that the smokin’ hot chick from Body Heat now looks like William Shatner in drag. You say “bummed out.” Women your age have real breasts and artificial hips. Masturbation leaves you winded. You try to amuse the kid hooking up your Blu-ray player by telling him about Betamax. You pee in morse code -- dots and dashes -- and have to look down to see when you’re done. Your car radio is set to “classic rock” so you have something to switch to during NPR pledge drives. Your doctor says things like, “that’s normal for a man your age” and “consider yourself lucky.” Beneath your chin is what appears to be a neck skin hammock. Beneath your penis is what appears to be two ping pong balls hanging from a flesh-colored bolo tie. You choose your new car because it offers great lumbar support and convenient cup holders. Watching “The Who” perform at the Superbowl made you inconsolably sad. You wonder if the orgasm you're about to have will actually end your life. Your doctor tells you a new medication will reduce the amount of semen in your body and your only response is, “so what.” Your car radio is set to “classic rock” so you have something to... oh, wait, I already did that one.
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Posted on: 2012/7/28 1:32
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Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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| vetteblondie | Re: You Know You're Getting Old When: | ||
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Master Guru
 
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Damn. I did not realize that I was that old... Of course I don't have ping pong balls under my penis, I guess I'm not THAT old .....
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Posted on: 2012/7/28 1:36
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The answer to any question that begins with "Am I the only one who..." is always "no". �Ugol's Law Yes, I'm a bitch... just not YOURS. 
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| BillH | Re: You Know You're Getting Old When: | ||
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The Stig Moderator
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Quote:
Old is a state of mind Letty. There's a profound difference between getting old and getting older.  |
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Posted on: 2012/7/28 1:38
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Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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| Matatk | Re: You Know You're Getting Old When: | ||
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Webmaster
 
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Quote:
I am getting older, but I don't wanna get old!  |
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Posted on: 2012/7/28 2:23
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2002 EBM convertible, Magnusson supercharger, cam, headers, etc. 1989 Corvette...RIP |
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| bobges | Re: You Know You're Getting Old When: | ||
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Senior Guru
 
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58 years old and still going strong, and all of the above
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Posted on: 2012/7/28 15:10
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| 1Fast04Vert | Re: You Know You're Getting Old When: | ||
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Elite Guru
 
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Getting older is better than not getting older.
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Posted on: 2012/7/28 16:17
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| TommyT-Bone | Re: You Know You're Getting Old When: | ||
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Chair-man of the bored
 
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Getting old? What was limber is stiff amd what was stiff is limber. |
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Posted on: 2012/7/28 16:30
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| pianoguy | Re: You Know You're Getting Old When: | ||
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Guru Emeritus
 
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A balding, white haired man from Naples, Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.' At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000,' the jeweler said. The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.' The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.' On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said, 'There's no money in that account!' 'I know,' said the old man, 'But let me tell you about MY GREAT WEEKEND!' See......Not All Seniors Are Senile |
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Posted on: 2012/7/28 18:39
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1996 LT4 �Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.�- Jack Handey |
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| BrianCunningham | Re: You Know You're Getting Old When: | ||
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Senior Guru
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You need to throw in carriage returns so you can read a post...
... I really wish that was a joke, man my eyes $uck now that I'm old! Quote:
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Posted on: 2012/7/28 21:47
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Polo Green 95 LT1 6-spd http://mysite.verizon.net/vzevcp74/ 383 LT1/Vortech Supercharger/AFR heads/Rod end suspension/Penske-Hardbar dual rate coilovers/Wilwood 6pot brakes NCCC Governor: http://BayStateCorvetteClub.com |
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