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Ultraman | Funny story! | ||
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HER DIARY:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but didn't say much. I asked him what was wrong; he said, "nothing". I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it. On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say "I love you, too." When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore. He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent. Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. To my suprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep, and I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster! HIS DIARY: Damn Vette still won't start, can't figure it out, but at least I got laid. |
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Posted on: 2010/12/16 21:58
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bogus | Re: Funny story! | ||
Grand Imperial Pooh-Bah
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Now... let's be honest... he could have saved her all that angst if he only said that.
Then again, he more than likely wouldn't have gotten laid. |
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Posted on: 2010/12/16 21:59
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The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw Education is the best tool to overcome irrational fear. - me |
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pianoguy | Re: Funny story! | ||
Guru Emeritus
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LMAO!
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 1:11
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1996 LT4 �Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.�- Jack Handey |
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BillH | Re: Funny story! | ||
The Stig Moderator
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In Florida,
Tommy bought a new 2003 Anniversary model and was out on I-75 for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through his hair and just out side of Land O Lakes he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 90 mph he suddenly saw a flashing red and blue light behind him. There aint no way they can catch a Corvette, he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 100, 110, 120 and finally 130 with the lights still behind him. What in hell am I doing? he thought suddenly and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. Ive had a tough shift and this is my last pull over. I dont feel like more paperwork so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I havent heard before you can go! Last week my wife ran off with a cop, Tommy said, and I was afraid you were trying to give her back! Have a nice night, said the officer. |
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 1:30
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Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Funny story! | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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BillH runs a red light and is photographed by an automated police camera. In the mail a short time later, he receives a photo of his purple Corvette committing the infraction and a citation for $60. Instead of paying the fine, BillH mails the police department a photograph of three 20-dollar bills. Several days later, he gets a letter back from the police department. Inside is a photograph of a pair of handcuffs.
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 2:01
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Funny story! | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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Andy and three engineers are traveling in a car. One is a mechanical engineer, one a chemical engineer, one an electrical engineer and Andy, a computer program analyst .
The car breaks down. Sounds to me as if the pistons have seized. Well have to strip down the engine before we can get the car working again, says the mechanical engineer. Well, says the chemical engineer, it sounded to me as if the fuel might be contaminated. I think we should clear out the fuel system. I thought it might be a grounding problem, says the electrical engineer, or maybe a faulty plug lead. They all turn to Andy who has said nothing. They ask him, What do you think? Well, I think we should close all the windows, get out, get back in, and open the windows again. |
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 2:33
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Funny story! | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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Stupid student
Why did the student eat his homework? His teacher said it was a piece of cake. Ooohhh !!! |
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 2:48
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BillH | Re: Funny story! | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Ain't Purple.
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 2:54
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Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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BillH | Re: Funny story! | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Watch Where You Are Going In Your Z06
A man goes out and buys a 2003 model. One night he takes it out for a spin, and stops at a red light. An old man pulls up next to him riding a mopped. The old man looks over the Vette and says, What kind of car ya got there sonny? The man replies, Its a Z06, the best sports car in the USA; it cost me over $60,000. Thats a lot of money says the old man. Why do they cost so much? The man answers, Because they can go 190 miles an hour! The old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his mopped, the old man says, Thats a pretty nice car all right! Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what the car can do. He floors it, and in a few seconds the speedo reads 120 MPH. Suddenly he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that seems to be catching up to him. Afraid it might be a cop, he slows down to 65 and suddenly whhhoooosshh! Something whips by him going much faster! What on earth could be going faster than this Vette? the man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming towards him. Whhoooosshh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it sorta looked like the old man on the mopped! Couldnt be, thinks the guy. How could a mopped outrun a Vette? Then again he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whhooosshh Blam! It plows into the back of the Vette! The man jumps out. It is the old man! Of course, the mopped and the old man are in a world of hurt. The guy runs up to the old man and cries, Youre hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you? The old man groans and replies, Yes, could you please unhook my suspenders from your side mirror? |
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 2:56
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Funny story! | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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Quote:
You know it, and I know it. |
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 2:56
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JeffK | Re: Funny story! | ||
Elite Guru
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Quote:
Altered to match my night last night. LOL |
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 12:57
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Vetron87 | Re: Funny story! | ||
Elite Guru
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Quote:
Currently laughing in front of my 2 students in class. |
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 13:37
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Trae1976 | Re: Funny story! | ||
2012 Memorial Day Car Show Winner!
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Quote:
BillH wrote: |
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 14:17
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BillH | Re: Funny story! | ||
The Stig Moderator
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A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains became just too much and he could go no further. He stuck his thumb out, but after 3 hours, he hadnt gotten a single person to stop. Finally, a guy in a Corvette pulled over and offered him a ride. Of course, the bike wouldnt fit in the car. The corvette owner found a piece of rope lying by the highway and tied it to his bumper. He tied the other end to the bike and told the man that if he was going to fast, to honk the horn on his bike and he would slow down.
Everything went fine for the first 30 miles. Suddenly, another Corvette blew past them. Not to be outdone, the Corvette pulling the bike took off after the other. A short distance down the road, the Corvettes, both going well over 120 mph, blew through a speed trap. The police officer noted the speed from his radar gun and radio to the other officer that he has two Corvettes headed his way at over 120 mph. HE then relayed, and youre not going to believe this, but theres a guy on a 10-speed bike honking to pass! |
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 14:19
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Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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bogus | Re: Funny story! | ||
Grand Imperial Pooh-Bah
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I love it!
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Posted on: 2010/12/17 21:18
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_________________
The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw Education is the best tool to overcome irrational fear. - me |
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