BillH wrote:
Ain't Purple.

Ultraman wrote:
HER DIARY:

Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird.
We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.
I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment on it.

Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but didn't say much.
I asked him what was wrong; he said, "nothing".
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.
On the way home, I told him that I loved him.
He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't say "I love you, too."
When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, as if he wanted nothing to do with me anymore.
He just sat there quietly, and watched TV. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, with silence all around us, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed.
To my suprise, he responded to my caress, and we made love. But I still felt that he was distracted, and his thoughts were somewhere else. He fell asleep, and I cried.

I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster!

HIS DIARY:

Damn C-Beam, can't get it out, but at least I got laid.

BillH wrote:
Watch Where You Are Going In Your Z06
A man goes out and buys a 2003 model. One night he takes it out for a spin, and stops at a red light. An old man pulls up next to him riding a mopped. The old man looks over the Vette and says, “What kind of car ya got there sonny?” The man replies, “It’s a Z06, the best sports car in the USA; it cost me over $60,000.”

“That’s a lot of money” says the old man. Why do they cost so much?” The man answers, “Because they can go 190 miles an hour!” The old man pokes his head in the window and looks around. Leaning back on his mopped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car all right!”

Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what the car can do. He floors it, and in a few seconds the speedo reads 120 MPH. Suddenly he notices a dot in his rear view mirror that seems to be catching up to him. Afraid it might be a cop, he slows down to 65 and suddenly whhhoooosshh! Something whips by him going much faster!

“What on earth could be going faster than this Vette?” the man asks himself. Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming towards him. Whhoooosshh! It goes by again, heading the opposite direction! And it sorta looked like the old man on the mopped!

“Couldn’t be,” thinks the guy. “How could a mopped outrun a Vette?”

Then again he sees a dot in his rear view mirror! Whhooosshh – Blam! It plows into the back of the Vette! The man jumps out. It is the old man! Of course, the mopped and the old man are in a world of hurt. The guy runs up to the old man and cries, “You’re hurt bad! Is there anything I can do for you?”

The old man groans and replies, “Yes, could you please unhook my suspenders from your side mirror?”

BillH wrote:
“Yes, could you please unhook my suspenders from your side mirror?”