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TommyT-Bone | Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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A break from the daily routine. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 2:51
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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Matt sat and shat in a hat |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 2:52
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vetteblondie | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Master Guru
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in front of a cat
that was very fat who covered his scat and pissed on the hat and said 'thanks for that' |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 3:07
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_________________
The answer to any question that begins with "Am I the only one who..." is always "no". �Ugol's Law Yes, I'm a bitch... just not YOURS. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Have to
"The boy who farted laughing gas, eschewed pretentious poses. He thought those who called him vulgar, had boogers up their noses." (Ralph Waldo Emerson;) |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 4:04
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Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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She had a fierce intelligence in her eyes which was not apparent in her behavior or speech. When you looked into those sparkling, bluish-grey orbs, you couldn't help get the impression that she had something clever to say. She did not.
And when she favored you with a smile, you got the reassuring feeling that she understood. She didn't. Not a clue. It was only much later you realized that her wry, knowing grin was something she unconsciously did when she was suppressing gas. Oh, and her touch. The way she held your arm, or delicately draped a hand on your shoulder. That simple gesture made you feel loved, made you feel as if the two of you were connected on the most intimate level. Well, turns out, that was just her way of keeping her balance while wearing six inch stiletto heels. And the worst part was you didn't care. The illusion was good enough. As long as she didn't talk, fart or fall on her ass, you were a happy man. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 4:12
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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I'm workin' on a good one.
But I need to find some that rhymes with "Girl from Nantucket" |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 14:50
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Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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KPotter | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Elite Guru
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There once was a fellow from Reno
Who won lots of bucks playing Keno. Then he sat on his ass While sanding fiberglass, DNBFS doesn't rhyme with Reno. Best I can come up with right now. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 16:21
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Why do I like racing ? Well, the colors are bright and there's a lot of movement, so it holds my attention. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Quote:
DNBFS doesn't rhyme with fiberglass either. There once was a fellow from Reno Who sanded fiberglass Until he blew his brains out Hummm, that doesn't rhyme either. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 17:14
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Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Tommy, Tommy bo Mommy Bonana fanna fo Fommy
Fee fy Toe Tommy Everybody dance. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 17:18
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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Matatk | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Webmaster
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Quote:
It doesn't take much wit, To DNBFS. (Say it out loud) |
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Posted on: 2013/12/2 19:30
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2002 EBM convertible, Magnusson supercharger, cam, headers, etc. 1989 Corvette...RIP |
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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tee bee he be talkin on a CB marcus carcass he won't even hark us brad is mad he knows that he's been had andy's handy at eating up some candy ken's in the den diddling with a pen letty get ready time to go to beddy to be con't |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 1:48
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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A Mugging
When my guard was down they attacked from behind With a blow to the head - now I wake up to find There's a sort of red mist in front of one eye And my tongue's gone all rubbery and my mouth is so dry. There's a part of my head that floats on its own And a pain when I move that just makes me groan. My stomach and its contents have ceased to be friends And are now parting company via both ends. I ought to get up but I'm frightened to try, I just want to lie here and hope that I'll die. I can't understand how I came to be caught By those two nasty muggers - red wine and port. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 2:22
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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Quote:
Ooohhhh! |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 3:05
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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A poem for............guess Who Ring, Ring, Ring Damn, my goose is cooked I'd love to say "Honey, I'm booked." Ring, Ring, Ring "The Bobcat broke." Damn, I just wanted to sit here and have a smoke. Ring, Ring, Ring "I need the truck." Damn, just my luck. Ring, Ring, Ring "The palm's not here yet." Damn, guess I'll deliver it in my Vette. Ring, Ring, Ring Damn, there goes my life. But I gotta please my wife. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 3:06
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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A quicky: Fiberglass Can kiss my ass |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 3:11
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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Matatk | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Webmaster
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A Quicky:
I can't get too far With a coolant puddle under my purple car. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 3:16
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2002 EBM convertible, Magnusson supercharger, cam, headers, etc. 1989 Corvette...RIP |
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vetteblondie | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Master Guru
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Red wine and port, there's also a white port
Quite tasty I've had a few snorts Makes Letty ready for beddy But only for sleep... |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 3:30
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_________________
The answer to any question that begins with "Am I the only one who..." is always "no". �Ugol's Law Yes, I'm a bitch... just not YOURS. |
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KPotter | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Elite Guru
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A helpful fellow Tommy T-Bone
Spent many long hours n the T-Phone It went RING RING RING He said "I hate this thing" "Yes dear, yes Dear. God I need a clone" |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 3:31
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Why do I like racing ? Well, the colors are bright and there's a lot of movement, so it holds my attention. |
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KPotter | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Elite Guru
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The Imperial Grand Poobah Andy.
With tools became very handy. But his Wife's red Corvette Ain't near finished yet. But he says "Someday it will be dandy." |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 3:33
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Why do I like racing ? Well, the colors are bright and there's a lot of movement, so it holds my attention. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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This is my chair, my seat of power:
My presidency, ministry - ivory tower. This is my chair whence I command; Scream my orders, dictate - demand! This is my chair from where I rule: I am sovereign; you are fool. This is my chair, in which I snooze, Fantasise and swill my booze: Pretend to be that which I’m not: For what I am, is not a lot! Ring, Ring, Ring Ah, damn |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 3:47
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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vetteblondie | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Master Guru
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Hahaha!!!!
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 9:39
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_________________
The answer to any question that begins with "Am I the only one who..." is always "no". �Ugol's Law Yes, I'm a bitch... just not YOURS. |
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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I like to go cruisin
Spend some time snoozin And chug down some NA beer To work it only seems fair To save us some money I do things for my honey Sometimes I need cash Don't want a backlash A radiator here A fuel pump there The Porsche was heavily paid Now retired I fired the maid. So do things I must Don't want to go bust Sitting around just aint my thing So for now it'll be Ring, Ring, Ring. I'm still gonna bitch about it though. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 15:02
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pianoguy | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Guru Emeritus
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D is for dust, raised upward by sanding
N is for noise, ear-plugs notwithstanding B is for blue streaks, cursed sitting or standing F is for fumes, and fiberglass stranding S is for someday, when there isn't so much friggin' work to do Henry Gibson |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 16:08
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1996 LT4 �Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.�- Jack Handey |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Quote:
Should be Hoot Gibson - cause it is a hoot. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 16:11
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Here I sit
All broken hearted Went to...................never mind. |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 16:34
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Corvette Night Before Christmas
'Twas the night before Christmas and in the garage, There wasn't a trace of a Ford or a Dodge. The presents were wrapped and the lights were all lit, So I figured I'd mess with the Vette for a bit. I popped the release and I lifted the hood, When a deep voice behind me said "looks pretty good." Well, as you can imagine, I turned mighty quick, And there, by the workbench, stood good ol Saint Nick! We stood there a bit, not too sure what to say, Then he said "don't suppose that you'd trade for my sleigh? I said "no way, Santa" and started to grin, "But if you've got the time we could go for a spin!" His round little mouth, all tied up like a bow, Turned into a smile and he said "hey! Let's go!!" So as not to disturb all the neighbors' retreat, We pushed the Vette quietly into the street, Then, taking our places to drift down the hill, I turned on the key and I let the clutch spill. The sound that erupted took him by surprise, But he liked it a lot, by the look in his eyes. With Hoosier`s a' crying and side pipes aglow, We headed on out where the hot rodders go. And Santa's grin widened, approaching his ears, With every up shift, as I went through the gears. Then he yelled "can't recall when I've felt so alive!", So I backed off the gas and said "you wanna drive?" Ol Santa was stunned when I gave him the keys, When he walked past the headlights he shook at the knees! Then the big block exploded with side exhaust sound! Santa let out the clutch and the tires shook the ground! Power shift into second, again into third! I sat there just watching, at loss for a word, Then I heard him exclaim as we blasted from sight, "Merry Christmas to all...........what a great night!!!" |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 16:39
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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The One I Loved Back Then
I stopped off at the quicksack for some beer and cigarettes This old man took my money as he stared at my Corvette He said, "I had one just like her son, a 1963" Til' the man down at the bank took her from me Oh she was that was hotter than a two dollar pistol She was the fastest thing around Long and lean, every young man's dream She turned every head in town She was built in from the handles, son, I'm glad that you walked in She reminds me of the one I loved back then Well I handed him my keys and said, "Here, take her for a spin" The old man scratched his head, and then he looked at me and grinned He said "Son, you just don't understand, it ain't the car I want It's the brunette in your vette that turns me on" I had one that was hotter than a two dollar pistol She was the fastest thing around Long and lean, every young man's dream She turned every head in town She was built in from the handles, son, I'm glad that you dropped in She reminds me of the one I loved back then Lord, she was hotter than a two dollar pistol She was the fastest thing around Long and lean, every young man's dream She turned every head in town She was built in from the handles, son, I'm glad that you dropped in She reminds me of the one I loved back then She reminds me of the one I loved back then Written by Gentry, Gary Lee |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 18:11
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vetteblondie | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Master Guru
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Heavy Metal (Takin' a Ride) (Don W. Felder) © 1981 Fingers Music (ASCAP) Fire it on up and let's cruise a while, Leave your troubles far behind. You can hedge your bet on a clean Corvette, To get you there right on time. Now if you're ready to dive into overdrive, Baby the green lights are on. It's like you're running your brain on some high octane, Every time she reaches fully blown. Won't you take that ride ride ride ride on Heavy Metal? It's the only way that you can travel down that road. Satisfied fied fied fied, on heavy metal, Baby won't you ride, ride it until it explodes. Heavy Metal My oh my, how this lady can fly, Once she starts rollin' beneath you. You know you just can't lose, The way she moves, You wait for her to finally release you. It's not a big surprise to feel your temperature rise, You've got a touch of redline fever. 'Cause there is just one cure that we know for sure, You just become a heavy metal believer. Won't you take that ride ride ride ride on heavy metal? It's the only way that you can travel down that road. Satisfied fied fied fied, on heavy metal, Baby won't you ride, ride it until it explodes. Heavy Metal |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 18:32
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_________________
The answer to any question that begins with "Am I the only one who..." is always "no". �Ugol's Law Yes, I'm a bitch... just not YOURS. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Quote:
Which is why some drink red wine and port, |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 18:34
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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.
Attach file: heavy.jpg (0.00 KB) |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 18:37
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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vetteblondie | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Master Guru
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 18:51
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_________________
The answer to any question that begins with "Am I the only one who..." is always "no". �Ugol's Law Yes, I'm a bitch... just not YOURS. |
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KPotter | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Elite Guru
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This is my chair,there are many like it, but this one is mine.
My chair is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. My chair, without me, is useless. Without my chair, I am useless... |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 19:01
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Why do I like racing ? Well, the colors are bright and there's a lot of movement, so it holds my attention. |
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Attach file: my chair.jpg (0.00 KB) |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 19:45
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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This is my rifle This is my gun This ones for fighting This ones for fun |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 22:34
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Quote:
The original DNBFS ?? |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 22:47
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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bobges | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Senior Guru
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No matter how much you shake and dance
The last drop falls down your pants |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 23:38
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe... Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate. All those... moments... will be lost in time, like tears... in... rain. Time... to die... |
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Posted on: 2013/12/3 23:50
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76Nordic | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Dumbass
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How about...
Hickery dickery clock three mice ran up a clock the clock struck one and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries |
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Posted on: 2013/12/4 2:59
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The Definition of insanity; Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results.....Einstein |
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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Lyrics are like poetry put to music Aqualung Sitting on a park bench Eying little girls with bad intent Snot's running down his nose Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes, hey, Aqualung Drying in the cold sun Watching as the frilly panties run, hey, Aqualung Feeling like a dead duck Spitting out pieces of his broken luck, oh, Aqualung Sun streaking cold, an old man wandering lonely Taking time, the only way he knows Leg hurting bad as he bends to pick a dog end He goes down to the bog and warms his feet Feeling alone, the army's up the road Salvation a la mode and a cup of tea Aqualung, my friend, don't you start away uneasy You poor old sod, you see it's only me Do you still remember December's foggy freeze When the ice that clings on to your beard It was screaming agony Hey and you snatch your rattling last breaths With deep-sea diver sounds And the flowers bloom like Madness in the spring Sun streaking cold, an old man wandering lonely Taking time, the only way he knows Leg hurting bad as he bends to pick a dog end He goes down to the bog and warms his feet Feeling alone, the army's up the road Salvation a la mode and a cup of tea Aqualung my friend don't you start away uneasy You poor old sod, you see it's only me Aqualung my friend don't you start away uneasy You poor old sod, you see it's only me Sitting on a park bench Eying up little girls with bad intent Snots running down his nose Greasy fingers smearing shabby clothes, hey Aqualung Drying in the cold sun Watching as the frilly panties run, hey Aqualung Feeling like a dead duck Spitting out pieces of his broken luck, hey Aqualung Oh Aqualung Ian Anderson |
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Posted on: 2013/12/4 3:20
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TommyT-Bone | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Chair-man of the bored
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And this classic ...... . |
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Posted on: 2013/12/4 3:31
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BillH | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
The Stig Moderator
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Quote:
Ah, young grasshopper The Haiku Attach file: haiku-1.jpg (0.00 KB) |
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Posted on: 2013/12/4 3:57
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_________________
Every man dies but not every man lives. |
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pianoguy | Re: Poetry Corner | ||
Guru Emeritus
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Friends may come
And friends may go And friends may peter out, you know But we'll be friends through thick and thin Peter out or peter in |
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Posted on: 2013/12/4 4:04
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_________________
1996 LT4 �Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.�- Jack Handey |
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