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Ultraman Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Good morning Guru's! Got some rain yesterday that came at us sideways at about 60 mph. About an inch best we can

tell sometimes the sideway rain won't go into the guage.

Will do some clean up work around the place tree limbs and junk blown about. No real damage. Good for the crops right now. Not much else going on.

Nice looking chairs TB! We have some old cars in common. The 64 Polara and the early Vettes.

Tommy how about Tommy's Crazy Beautiful Corvette Club? No? Ok, how about Set your ass in Fibergla..........Nevermind.

Have an industrious day today Guru's.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 12:18
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TommyT-Bone Thursday Chat 05.12.11
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Oldie but goodie



It's Hell to be Old !

OLD people have problems that you haven't
even considered yet!

An 85-year-old man was requested by his
Doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical
exam.
The doctor gave the man a jar and said, 'Take
this jar home and bring back a semen sample
tomorrow.'

The next day the 85-year-old man re-appeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar,
which was as clean and empty as on the
previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man
explained, 'Well, doc, it's like this--first I tried
with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried
with my left hand, but still nothing..

Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with
her right hand, then with her left, still nothing.
She tried with her mouth, first with the teeth in,
then with her teeth out, still nothing.

She even called up Arleen, the lady next door
and she tried too, first with both hands, then an
armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between
her knees, but still nothing.'

The doctor was shocked! 'You asked your neighbor?'

The old man replied, 'Yep, none of us could get
the jar open.'
Posted on: 2011/5/12 12:19
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TommyT-Bone Re: Thursday Chat 05.12.11
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Today I feel like I got run over. Ache from head to toe and my eyes are showing signs of age (Where are my glasses?). Hopefully a hot steamy shower will help revitalize me. I have things I'd like to get done. Pain or no pain I usually push through it. I keep forgetting to appreciate the days I feel good. They seem almost normal till I have few days like today. Then I know for certain ...... I'm not 30 anymore.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 12:29
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TommyT-Bone Re: Thursday Chat 05.12.11
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Woke up thinking I better get the boat out and run it some before May comes around. Then I suddenly realized ...... It IS May.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 12:42
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pianoguy Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Greetings! Glad to hear you didn't get any serious damage, Marcus! Tommy, now you need to focus on getting that boat out before June rolls around :-P

It looked ominous all afternoon and evening here, but nothing ever materialized. I had my riding mower in the shop - they tuned it up, adjusted some things and put all new bearings in the mower deck. Got it back yesterday, so I had to go out and manicure the estate last night - man, what a difference! The deck is so quiet now that I didn't think it was working when I engaged the blades. Probably works better now than when it was new. I had to write a check to pay for it when they dropped it off - first check I had written in over a year.

The weekend is near - have a good day, all!
Posted on: 2011/5/12 12:52
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BillH Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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I'm playing with more mud. Want to start laying tile by 6:30. That way I can take the afternoon off.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 12:53
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TommyT-Bone Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.

WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.



MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.



I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.



COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?



UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.



THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.



AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL ..



'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.



WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.



HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'



YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.



HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.



THEN, THAT UGLY,



OLD,



BALD,



WRINKLED FACED,



FAT-ASSED,



GRAY-HAIRED,



DECREPIT



SON-OF-A-BITCH



ASKED,




'WHAT DID YOU TEACH???
Posted on: 2011/5/12 12:55
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Matatk Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Good Morning CGs!

Been up for a bit doing some administrative house cleaning at the Guru. Ick work but needs to be done.

Taking my daughter for her 3 year pictures this morning. After that I'm coming home and the neighbor and I are supposed to pour some concrete if the weather cooperates.

Good jokes, Tommy, heard the first one, but not the second...that was a good one...lol.

Matthew
Posted on: 2011/5/12 12:59
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Matatk Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Tommy and his wife walk into a hospital. The doctor says to Tommy, "I'll need a urine sample, a feces sample, and a blood sample." Tommy, "What?" So the doctor says it again. Once again Tommy says, "what?" So the doctor yells it, "I NEED A URINE SAMPLE, A FECES SAMPLE, AND A BLOOD SAMPLE!" With that Tommy's wife turns to Tommy and says, "He needs a pair of your underwear!"
Posted on: 2011/5/12 13:01
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Matatk Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Hot and Cold Sex......

After his exam, the doctor said to the elderly man:
'You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concernsyou would like to ask me about?'

'In fact, I do.' said the old man. 'After I have sex, I am usuallycold and chilly; and then, after I have sex with her the secondtime, I am usually hot and sweaty.'

After examining his elderly wife, the doctor said:
'Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?'

The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then said to her: 'Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having sex with you the first time; and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know why?'

'Oh, that crazy old fart!' she replied. 'That's because the first time is usually in January, and the second time is in August.'
Posted on: 2011/5/12 13:04
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BillH Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Quote:

Matatk wrote:
After that I'm coming home and the neighbor and I are supposed to pour some concrete if the weather cooperates.

Matthew


No envy there. But, concrete's worse than thinset. Both are a pain in the .
Posted on: 2011/5/12 13:07
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pianoguy Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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A sweet young thing marries an oldster for his money. On their wedding night, they are getting ready for bed, and the old man goes into the bathroom and says he'll be back in a minute. When he comes out, he is wearing nothing but ear plugs, nose plugs and a condom.

The surprised young bride asks, "What are the ear plugs and nose plugs for?"

He says, "If there's 2 things I can't abide, it's the sound of a woman screaming and the smell of burning rubber!"
Posted on: 2011/5/12 13:15
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TommyT-Bone Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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....

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jpg  Old Dudes.jpg (25.75 KB)
852_4dcbdf182aa00.jpg 325X450 px
Posted on: 2011/5/12 13:22
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TommyT-Bone Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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....

Attach file:



jpg  La,la,la la la.jpg (24.22 KB)
852_4dcbdf77d3484.jpg 300X300 px
Posted on: 2011/5/12 13:24
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teebee Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Good morning guys...you have me laughing already. Tommy, I can sympathize with you. The last two nights coming in from the shop, after standing there on the concrete for two to three hours, my knees don't want to work right, all three of them....you know, the left knee, the right knee and the wee knee.....

The last day for seniors today, dang I only have 2 all day. Graduation is Saturday, supposed to be nice weather, in low 70's. Today they are not even forecasting 60's. Bill and Matt, I have no envy at all for either of you guys, two of my least favorite things to do, but Bill is right concrete is worse (plumbing is worse yet).

Have a great day gurus.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 14:47
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teebee Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Marcus, did you have a 64 Polara? Was is a 500?
Posted on: 2011/5/12 14:49
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Ultraman Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Here you go TB. 1964 Dodge Polara 500
Posted on: 2011/5/12 14:56
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Ultraman Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Quote:

teebee wrote:
Bill and Matt, I have no envy at all for either of you guys, two of my least favorite things to do, but Bill is right concrete is worse (plumbing is worse yet).



How about putting up fiberglass insulation on a hot day working over your head? Just when you finally wrassel the peice into place just right, you run out of staples.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 15:04
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CSS996 Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Good Morning, Gurus!

T minus 8 days til moving day...

Some pretty funny shite there fellas. Good for a chuckle, which I needed this morning.

A friend of mine back in PA is having a rough go. Wish I could be there today and help out. Soon enough though... I hope. Daddy needs an influx of PEOPLE PAYING MY ASS so that I can afford the gasoline to get there!

Best wishes for a productive and happy day to all!
Posted on: 2011/5/12 15:37
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BillH Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Quote:

Ultraman wrote:
Quote:

teebee wrote:
Bill and Matt, I have no envy at all for either of you guys, two of my least favorite things to do, but Bill is right concrete is worse (plumbing is worse yet).



How about putting up fiberglass insulation on a hot day working over your head? Just when you finally wrassel the peice into place just right, you run out of staples.


Ah, hell, I can beat that. I worked for a precast concrete company, ran the cement mixer trucks. Had 2 guys running trucks that I was responsible for. One guy got pissed, quit and parked the truck with a half load in it (didn't tell anyone).

Fun-wot?? 95 degree day inside a big steel drum with a jackhammer and no ventilation.

An extra reason for me to hate concrete.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 16:12
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TommyT-Bone Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Quote:

BillH wrote:
Fun-wot?? 95 degree day inside a big steel drum with a jackhammer and no ventilation.


Just goes to prove your a jack off.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 16:20
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CSS996 Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Kitten's got claws....
Posted on: 2011/5/12 17:56
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1Fast04Vert Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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You guys aren't the only ones that hate concrete. Before our house was built there was a house trailer out on what is now part of our front yard. It sat on a concrete pad, about 12' X 50'. I broke up that pad with a sledge hammer and hauled the pieces off years ago. Then I have another spot where the grass dies every August. Turns out there is another pad for parking two cars, so now I am breaking that one up with the same sledgehammer. Wouldn't be bad, except the poured it about 10" thick, guess they thought they were building an interstate highway.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 18:11
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BillH Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Yea, well. I'm pretty much against any hard work concrete, tiles, roofs, sewer cleaning.

2/3rds done, enough for today.

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Posted on: 2011/5/12 18:20
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teebee Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Quote:

Ultraman wrote:
Quote:

teebee wrote:
Bill and Matt, I have no envy at all for either of you guys, two of my least favorite things to do, but Bill is right concrete is worse (plumbing is worse yet).



How about putting up fiberglass insulation on a hot day working over your head? Just when you finally wrassel the peice into place just right, you run out of staples.


Yea, that's a good one.

Nice Polara Marcus, did it have the 383 or the 361? Is that silver? Mine had the factory black vinyl top, AM/FM with factory reverberator and the factory Mag 500 wheels (they were really magnesium). I'd like to find another one worth the money.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 20:36
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pianoguy Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Tile looks great, Bill!

It's been in the mid-80's here the last couple days. Today on the way home it was a balmy 56. We've got Climate Change, right here in River City, folks.

I had a little scare when I got home. I noticed a puddle of some kind of dirty fluid, right under the radiator of the Vette, which has been parked in the garage for the past couple days. Lovely, I thought. I was pleased to discover that it was just run-off from when I rinsed the mower off last night.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 21:25
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BillH Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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pianoguy wrote:
Tile looks great, Bill!



Thanks,Brad.
75% done, I had to stop and let the tile in front of the fridge dry overnite so I can roll the fridge on the new tile and put tile where the fridge sits. I'll have it complete by lunch tomorrow, grout on Sat. and this freekin' project will be done.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 21:34
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Ultraman Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Quote:

teebee wrote:
Quote:

Ultraman wrote:
Quote:

teebee wrote:
Bill and Matt, I have no envy at all for either of you guys, two of my least favorite things to do, but Bill is right concrete is worse (plumbing is worse yet).



How about putting up fiberglass insulation on a hot day working over your head? Just when you finally wrassel the peice into place just right, you run out of staples.


Yea, that's a good one.

Nice Polara Marcus, did it have the 383 or the 361? Is that silver? Mine had the factory black vinyl top, AM/FM with factory reverberator and the factory Mag 500 wheels (they were really magnesium). I'd like to find another one worth the money.



It was a 318 with a 3/4 race cam and a 4 BBL with dual exhaust. We had a Plymouth that Dad had with a 383 2 BBL. I always wanted to swap motors on him. The car was actually a teal color with matching interior and a light teal outline on the seats. Beautiful color. I have always looked for another one to restore.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 21:54
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Ultraman Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Bill I missed it, did you go with ceramic tile or the congolium? Looks good whatever it is!
Posted on: 2011/5/12 21:56
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biggrizzly Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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6:15PM here... I have been at the hospital all day... Argggh!
Kathie has been going downhill all week and just feeling bad, weak and pretty damn lethargic. She had a follow up anyway today, but when we got her to the Breast Center they sent her to the emergency room ASAP. We sat in there all morning and part of the afternoon while they gave her a couple bags of go juice through an IV. After she got re hydrated she was much better. She's now home resting. We did get to talk to the doctor and the good news is that they got all the cancer. She now needs to get into radiation treatments ASAP. I hope she can handle the daily trip to the imaging center. Its about a half hour from here five days a week for six and half weeks!!!

Anyhow... needless to say, I'm pooped!

I'd like to go down and work on the car but I'm pretty shot tonight already.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 22:21
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TommyT-Bone Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Hang in there Don. Family first. Work and pleasure later. It's all about priorities. The other stuff will all fall in line in due time.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 22:50
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pianoguy Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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More mojo coming your way, Don - hope those tough weeks pass in a flash, and she comes through with flying colors!
Posted on: 2011/5/12 23:07
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BillH Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Yea, good luck Don.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 23:10
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BillH Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Quote:

Ultraman wrote:
Bill I missed it, did you go with ceramic tile or the congolium? Looks good whatever it is!


I did look at the stuff you and TB talked about but, with the rest of the kitchen done in stone, I wanted tile.

It's porclean "Tempest Granite" 18 inch on top of cement board. Roughly $5 a sq. ft. for thr cementboard, tile, thinset. Luckly I have enough grout left over from the backsplash to do the floor, right color too.

Pics next week.
Posted on: 2011/5/12 23:15
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CSS996 Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Prayers for you and the wifey, Don.
Posted on: 2011/5/13 0:01
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TommyT-Bone Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Here is my news for the day. Dropped off the 928 to our Porsche mechanic today to perform some of his magic. He said while we're at it we should cut a slot into the roof so I can drop money into it like a piggy bank.

My wife goes for surgery #55 Monday. Whoo hoo! Something to do with an esophogial expansion and stomach fold. There going up from the other end too to see what they find. I'll be resuming nursing duties come Monday.


Bored? .....Me? ..... Bored? ..... Never ...........
Posted on: 2011/5/13 0:31
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teebee Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Don, sorry to hear that Kathie is not doing well. It's going to be a long 6 1/2 weeks, but the results will be worth it. Tommy, I hope your wife finally gets everything worked out, that many surgeries is almost unbelievable. Bill that tile does look nice. It will be a great day when it is all finished. Marcus, my Polara had the High performance 383/4bbl/torqueflite Dana 60 rear end with 3.70 posi gears (or something in there close, IDR exactly) That teal color was popular that year. A neighbor of the wifes parents had a 64 Sport Fury in that color, I tried to buy that one from them, 383 4 speed.
Posted on: 2011/5/13 1:56
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teebee Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Oh, I finished the chairs today after school. They look really good. No new pictures though, they look pretty much like the ones last night only a bit shinier.
Posted on: 2011/5/13 2:01
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biggrizzly Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
2011 Memorial Day Car Show Winner!
Chesapeake Beach, Maryland
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Quote:

TommyT-Bone wrote:
He said while we're at it we should cut a slot into the roof so I can drop money into it like a piggy bank.

My wife goes for surgery #55 Monday.


I think I already have one of those slots in the roof of my Vette! LOL


55 surgeries.... OMG You should be up for sainthood!
I have been through three little surgeries with my wife and it can be a drain. I can't even fathom what 55 would be like!

Mojo to you and her too!
Posted on: 2011/5/13 2:02
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vetteblondie Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Jonesboro, AR
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Prayers to the two of you....
Posted on: 2011/5/13 2:08
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JrRifleCoach Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Years ago it was suggested
'That an apple a day kept the doctor away.'

But since many doctors are now Muslims,
I've found that a bacon sandwich works best.
Posted on: 2011/5/13 2:45
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TommyT-Bone Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Homestead USA
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Most of my wifes surgeries are attributed to bad genes and a major car accident 22 1/2 years ago. There is not a segment of her body that has not seen a scalple. Craniectomy from the wreck, tonsilectomy, 2x throat surgery, 2x ear surgery (stapiectomy), muliple foriegn object removal surgeries, breast growths removed and a breast reduction, gall bladder, ovarian surgery, both arms for a radial nerve release, both hands for carpal tunnel, 3x ganglion removals right foot. humerous plate removed after her body rejected it, falopian tube surgery that failed, several colonoscopies, multiple endosciopies and those are just the ones off the top of my head. We only count the ones you have to go under for. There are more that she was awake for. She carries a printed sheet with her because whenever you go to a new doctor or the ER they always ask "Any prior surgeries?". I on the other hand have had only two surgeries. I'm lucky that I only see my doctors a couple of times a year for the routine stuff. I have a heart doctor, a primary care physician, an allergist and a dentist. My most frequent medical question ..... Are you still smoking? .............. Ahh .... Yes.
It gives me something to do while I sit and wait for my wife to come out of recovery.
Posted on: 2011/5/13 3:09
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pianoguy Re: Thursday Chat 5-12-11
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Apple Valley, MN
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Man, your Mrs. is one tough cookie, Tommy! Hope all goes well on Monday. I'm gonna have to get you on the e-cig bandwagon - I passed the 18-month mark a couple days ago.
Posted on: 2011/5/13 3:20
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�Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.�- Jack Handey
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