Nothing new, huh? Well, I'm not happy. For anyone who doesn't know, we have a new baby. Wife's dad wants to open a bank account for her. I said fine, do it in your name, I don't want her info out there. Told the wife she can't take the baby's SS# for this because it's stupid to use it for unnecessary things. Well, she took it anyway. I am always concerned for things like identity theft, etc. She goes, who's gonna steal it, it's safe, it's a bank. I said - yeah - safe just like the letter I got 2 days ago from my mortgage company saying one of their "former" employees "may have" sold my SS#, loan application information, etc, to a third party vendor? Hmmm....figured that was safe, guess not. Ugh.

Ok, I'm pissed so I'm rambling, but you get the gist of it.

Anyone else deal with this?

Matthew

Oh, btw - I told her that since she did that I'm buying a new vette...haha. We'll see.

Growing up my parents didn't do anything like that. Since I was 16 I have kept up with ALL of my personal information/cards and do not even tell my parents it. SS card, enlistment card, ect ect ect, stay locked in a safe in my room. Don't give out information I don't have to. I don't mean to be rude but your wife is kind of arrogant and seems to take her parents side. You are the man of the house. Step up to the plate and say no, this is my house and I won't allow you to endanger our childs idenity before she even says her first word!

Pfft, who am I kidding....I am still a child....Don't listen to my inconsistent ramblings.

oh, man kid... you have some growing to do.

The "man of the house" concept is so 1953. It's archaic on a good day, downright sexist on a bad one.

Relationships require give and take. Matt's wife will have to learn the hard way what happens in a modern world; at the same time, Matt, the bank is about as safe a place for an SSN. Yea, I know the info could get leaked out, but gee, it's already attached to her medical records. So the cats out of the bag.

Having worked in this field - identity theft with the Delaware State Police - there is NOTHING you can do to stop someone from taking your ID. And the big brother system needed to stop it isn't worth it to me. This Life Lock thing is a pile of shit, too. Sure, they protect you, but the guy in charge has his SSN all over the country - you will be surprised how little interfacing there is of the SSN, mostly because the SSA won't allow it to be an ID number. I know, a bit convoluted...

The best solution to keeping yourself from getting burned is to be fingerprinted. It puts your identity on the official record with those little squigilly lines on your finger tips. That's identity and that cannot be stolen.

As for relationships, they are give and take. No one lays down the law, that's for dictators and insensative boobs.

YEP - What he said!

Quote:

Quote:

Yeah, I think we all know who isn't married! And you wonder why the girl at the fast food place won't go out with you.

Bottom line is relationships are about compromise. I was just blowing off steam above, which is a normal, healthy thing to do. I'll talk to my wife tomorrow and we'll work it out. That's the thing about being married. You work things out, and have a better relationship because of it.

Thanks for listening to me ramble, guys.

Matthew

Quote:

No sex tonight eh?

[quote]
bogus wrote:


The "man of the house" concept is so 1953. It's archaic on a good day, downright sexist on a bad one.


Ha ha ha !! Not in my house is isnt archaic. Thats how it is. Thats how it should be. I dont play that "I am woman game" around here. My wife is my friend, my partner & my confidant among other things... But she's the woman, I'm the man. Thats how we both like it. Weve been together 19 years & married 13 of them. Theres absolutely no reason the male shouldnt have the last word in his own house. If the decision is the wrong one, then that same man will step up and admit it like a man & apologize for his mistake.

Just because it doesnt work for this "new generation" doesnt mean it doesnt work. I was raised in a household that was run the same way. My parents have been married all my 41 years. I guess it worked for them too! Then theres my grandparents who were married 50+ years rasing 4 children the same way!!!

The example it sets for any children involved is also a positive one. Men are supposed to be men & women are supposed to be women. Theres no gray area. This doesnt omit the compromise portion of the relationship, nor does it negate the other persons perspective or opinion. What it does do, is reinforces where the strength and resolve to make a final decision comes from. I want my son to follow in the same path.

The last thing we want is our sons being spineless, pussywhipped little piles of mush just because their female counterparts are all about equality in the relationship. Theres nothing wrong with being a man and holding true to your word and nothing wrong with being the leader of your family. Thats the problem with todays kids....they have no respect for authority... maybe because they see their own fathers having to walk on eggshells with the mothers because, God forbid mamas feelings are a little bruised.

Sheeesh!!

With 81c3, men these days have become to pussified in general.

All men should have to do is sit back, get fed raw meat, cold beer and have a BJ on call as long as it doesnt knock the remote off her head. Outside of that we are all created equal.




:occasion7:

Quote:

I agree with that, there are other influences but when the son sees daddy turn in to a pile of jello at the first bark from mommy, there is no chance in hell for the kid to grow up with any kind of respect.

That and most of the little snots need a good ass kicking.

Parents included.


Sorry to hear about tonight's woes Matthew, but itll all be fine I'm sure. Look on the bright side, your little girl will have some finances for an education later

hey, on what shelf, in which jar, are all you nuts kept?

Now, mekanic doesn't mean you're not being an idiot. Hey, you wanna put money in my kids name, here's their SS.

Wow! This got pretty interesting!

Sorry to hear about your troubles, Matt.

I agree with a lot of what 81C3 says and I can understand where he is coming from 100%. However, I still don't think the idea of man being King of the castle and woman be subservient to him is going to flush in many households these days without major conflicts. I don't think 81C3 was saying that.

I think my wife and I share a fair load of decision making, I probably provide a little more leverage but never let it appear as such.

I just knock the shit out of her when she gets out of line.

In fact, that's how I knew she was "the one." The first time she stepped out of line, I knocked the fuck out of her, and she didn't call the cops. As soon as that happened, I thought to myself, "Man, that's a keeper!"

I'm joking, but in all seriousness, most women who preach about equality don't really want true equality. Next time you hear someone, man or woman, talking about equality, ask them why a woman doesn't have to go down to the post office and sign up for the draft? How come you can't knock the shit out of woman when she runs her mouth like she was a man? Women, for the most part, don't want equality; they want equal pay for equal work, which I don't have a problem with. Just don't pitch it to me under the guise of equality.

I have a good friend named Joe, not the brightest guy around but a genuinely good guy. Joe is 31 years old, and shovels concrete for a living. The concrete barriers on the side of the road, Joe builds those. He shovels concrete from a moving conveyor into a plywood mold. He does this all day, 9 hours a day, 5 days a week. Like I said, not the brightest, but good dude.

In a given day, Joe can usually move about 5 yards of concrete with his shovel, which equates to about 2 of the barriers.

Joe's boss runs the concrete plant, his name is Steve.

One day, as Joe is shoveling, a girl moves up next to his shoveling station and starts to shovel concrete along side Joe. Her name is Sherry.

Everything goes great for a couple weeks, Joe has some help, and Sherry is pretty easy on the eyes, so things are going pretty well. Then, as all good things do, it came to an end. Sherry asked Joe if she could buy him lunch. Joe responded by asking if she could afford it, after all, he only made $9 and hour, and since Sherry moved less than half of the concrete that he did in a day, she had to be making much less. "Of course I can afford it, I make $9 an hour." she said. Joe was a little dumb founded that she made the same amount of money for less work.

Later that day, Joe went to see Steve. "Steve, she doesn't do half the work I do, why does she make the same money?" Steve explained that recently, the plant had to under go some changes, and that equality in the work place was one of those things. Joe didn't seem to understand, so Steve just explained it the simplest way that he could, "Things around here have to be equal. Everything has to be equal, equal numbers of men and women employees, etc..."

Joe didn't like it, but he accepted it.

The next day, at lunch time, Joe was sitting under the water tower with all his buddies getting ready to pop open the small cooler that he uses as his lunch box every day, when Sherry came over. She was furious, she had found out that Joe had gone to Steve and said that she wasn't worth the money she was being paid. She starts to call Joe names, get in his face, yell, and just generally be very rude.

Joe stood up, words like "Equal" running through his mind. He thought about what Steve had said, how everything at the plant had to be equal... So, Joe reached back with his right hand, threw a pretty decent right cross, and dropped Sherry like a bad habit. he turned around to high 5 his buddies, and was greeted with stares of disbelief.

Joe spent the next night in jail. He lost his job, his permanent record shows aggravated assault, and he struggles to find another job.

Why? All he did was treat things like they were equal.

I am the man of the freakin' house. I charge her rent.

In a minute here, I'm going to wake her up and ask her what's for breakfast.



Now as far as SSN's, highly overrated. When I went to college, my SSN was my first name. It was everywhere, on my ID, on grade sheets posted outside of classrooms, etc.

I use online banking every day of the week. I use all my credit cards online, I pay my mortgage online, I've purchased things from overseas online. Never had any issue. I also don't click on spam/phishing email asking for my CC or bank info. The banks have all your info anyways, so you're forced to trust them. Just keep an eye on your account statements and you'll be fine. And don't sign up for all that free shit that requires selling your privacy away. Now, since the kid isn't really in the system, I'd avoid making an account for him, unless there are some tax benefits. She might not want it in her name because she doesn't want you using that as a reason to dump the responsibility on her. If you have a seperate account from her, why not open a joint account between you for it? Now, the sooner you can get that kid involved in managing his own finances, the better. They don't teach that in school, and most fail at it in real life when it counts, when every booth in college square is giving 29% apr credit cards away with free tshirts.

It's not really worth fighting over. I've fought over lesser things, like not having garlic bread with my pasta!

Quote:

Best post so far!

I think guys are blowing this way out of proportion.

I have a good relationship with my wife and that's the way I'd like to keep it. Guys that say "my wife does what I say or else" are either full of shit or wife beaters and I don't like either. Sometimes I'm right, and sometimes I'm wrong, but I'm willing to admit it when I'm wrong and stand up when I'm right. On this issue, I think I'm right. And I stood up for it. We talked some more this morning and she sees my perspective now. Do I consider it "winning"? No. But I did get what I thought was the best outcome for my daughter. There's an old adage, "no one ever really wins a fight" and it's true. There are always going to be some hurt feelings and maybe a bit of resentment in one parties mind.

Hope everyone has a great day and thanks for listening!

Matthew

Some women can't lose an argument, even if they agree with you.

So maybe she does, she just needed that time for her quiet surrender.

Now grab that white flag and go rub it in her face!

I revoke my post. Have a good day.

The difference is some comments are serious and some are in jest, and you have the luxury of making your opinion as to which is which.

My turn. I'm not going to use the man of the house thing or the 1953 thing (Andy well written) but I am going to take the investment thing.

The baby needs to be planned for, like education for starters and the (tax wise)(most children don't have a tax bracket) best way to save for a childs education is thru a savings account at a bank or UGTMA uniform gift to minors act brokerage account with the purchase of a good growth fund. Both of the above needs to be opened using the childs SS# since 9/11 the Patriot Act requires it.

I have parents and grand parents opening up accounts for childred all the time.

Time to shake hands and say "I'm sorry".

Hey, if they wanna throw me some too I'll give them my SS # :D