Post a couple of your favorites in the things people say.


Soak and wet

Medium strip

Valentimes Day




Ready .... Set ..... Go!

ungions

battries

Very close veins

Pickle weasel

Widjadidja

warsh
nukular
irregardless

Old timers disease.

Can you turn the air conditioner up or heat down when they mean the opposite.

Bussketti
smarshmellers
peecan
dragged up
sumthinother..(one of my favorites!)

Going to visit my ant.

I neds to axe you a questions

My wife wanted to know how many mexapickles our camera had.

I gottsta go now or eyes be lates!
My cumprension is low on mines motar
I neds a winch for that socket
carbinator or fuel enoculation

Reduce down

new and improved.

I love it when someone has prostrate problems.

enshoreance

If I can’t fix the economy in three years, you can call me former President

Ya, gimmee 2 cheesboogars and some fries......it's burgers you idiots......from my experiance working the window at MR.S Family restaurants in high school......

LOL
WTF
BRB
OMG

Quote:


LOL.......opps.....Haaahahahahahaha

KMN

"Can we conversate?" Noooooo....we can't.
"It's colder than hell"....would that be in Centigrade?

I'm sure there are many more...I'll have to think about it.

When someone says .... It's totally F'd.

I hate the 'buzz words' you have to listen too at all the meetings..over and over...
to name a few..

Action plan
At the end of the day
action items
all-hands meeting
alpha office
Face time
Going forward
Seamless
Skill sets
Touch base
take that off-line
talking points
turn-key
think outside the box
vision statement
value-added
whiteboard (when used as a verb)
win-win
world class
low hanging fruit
Synergistic

OH! You reminded me of something.

When you go into a store and everybody that works there is like your friend.. Hello! Good Morning, Hello!, Good Morning but when you need some help (cricket noises). The other is when they call me a guest. Next guest please. If I'm a guest maybe I should just drink my coffee in the store, then leave. And finally the sales push. Would you like to donate a dollar to starving children? No I want them little boogers to starve to death. Of course I would like to donate. Will I? No! Then the secondary sales push. Would you like an extended warranty for that $18.00 can opener? ..... Ahh, No! We have a special today on old batteries. Buy one get one free. Well isn't that nice.


The Grand Finale

There are the greeters (anti theft receipt checkers)

Thank you for shopping with us.
Come again.
Have a nice day

Don't worry. Be happy.

I wonder what will be the next marketing tool that sweeps the nation? A marketing tool made by a marketing tool.


Sales on thingamabobs are down.
We must sell more Slinkys.
50% more Asparrigus Juice and Apple Cider in every serving.

Anybody see the movie where everything you encountered was a sales pitch? Funny stuff.

Quote:

I know where you heard that one, Ron.

"Hi, my name is Tommy T-Bone"

Quote:

This reminds me of all the confused song lyrics people sing:

http://www.kissthisguy.com/

Bill Medley & Jennifer Warren
I've Had the Time of My Life
Now I've had a time with your wife

AC/DC
You Shook Me All Night Long
She was a fax machine, she kept her modem clean

Eddie Money
Two Tickets To Paradise
I've got two chickens in fried rice.

The Beatles
Ticket to Ride
She's got a chicken to fry

there are more.....lol

THE MISHEARD:

Shamu the mysterious whale
Real Lyric She moves in mysterious ways
Artist U2

Working on the nice boobs
Real Lyric Working on the night moves
Artist Bob Seger

Might as well face it, you're a dick with a glove.
Real Lyric Might as well face it, you're addicted to love.
Artist Robert Palmer

My anus is the center hole
Real Lyric My angel is a centerfold
Artist J. Geils Band

Quote:

Home Depot, right?