...as much as I would like or should the last few weeks.

Some of already know, but my mom has retired to FL.

She moved down there about 3 weeks ago.

Last Saturday morning, she fell... Slid out of bed and whacked her head on the beside table. A quick trip to the ER and we find she has a) a blood clot in her brain and b) dementia.

Yee-ha.

All of that has turned into a nearly week long stay in the ICU at Tampa General

The last week has had me and my brother scrambling to get her finances sorted out, her next step - a stay at a local rehab and then perhaps in-home care.

One of the reasons I haven't said anything now is that my handle is my last name. Her old house has been unoccupied for the last three weeks. The auction company has retrieved the last of the belongings today, so the house is now empty. In short, I was afraid that someone would find a thread like this and use the info to rob the remains of her old house.

Oh, someone did steel the lawn tractor. Broke into the shed and took it... but left the trailer and rear bagger. Smart.

Things should be settling... she is expected at a rehab center tomorrow. I should actually be able to talk to her!

Sometime early next month I am going to do a buzz out to visit.

We have good legal counsel and that has been priceless.

Been doing the same with my Aunt in Riverside. So I know how emotional and physically draining times like this can be.

Lots of strength will come from families and friends to help you along.

My Aunt woke up permanently blind at the end of July. The day before she drove herself to the store for groceries! We've been burning fuel and lots of weekends to get her settled. Good new is she is finally back home and healthy.

So not to worry. Someones watching out for you.

Andy,

Sorry to hear about your mom. Don't worry about us. As long as we have a place to go to talk about mindless BS we'll be alright. Family comes first, all the rest of this stuff is secondary. I am glad to hear your back, and your getting everything sorted out.

My grandmother, who is in her late 80's was the passenger in a high speed T-bone accident. The station wagon that hit the vehicle she was in, hit her door and threw her across the car. They had to cut her out with the jaws of life, and she spent about a month in the hospital and then a month in rehab. Shes able to walk again as she did before, and made a full recovery thank god. Those old birds are tough!!! I'm sure your mom will pull thought!

My best wishes are with your family and your mother for a speedy recovery.

Dan

Thoughts and Prayers go out to your Mom and Family.
Hope she makes a full, speedy recovery :angel7:

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I agree..Family First...Your family is in our prayers
Ken

So sorry to hear about your mom, Andy. Sounds like you and your brother have a good handle on the situation, but it'll be a trying time. Hang in there! Mojo and prayers for her recovery.

Best wishes for your mom, Andy. Keep us posted on the progress.

Matthew

ANDY BEST WISHES AND PRAYERS FOR YOUR MOM. I GOT BASICLY THRE SAME THING. MY MOM IS 89 YEARS OLD AND HAS RHEUMATOID ARTHRITIS. SHE CAN BARELY MOVE AT TIMES.THANK GOD MY YOUNGER SISTER AND BROTHER LIVE WITH HER. SO PRAYERS TO YOUR MOM AND GOD SPEED.
RICH

Sorry to hear about your mom Andy.
The bright side is, she's still around, and sounds like the dementia isn't advanced.
I lost my parents years ago, savor your visits with her.
God Bless.

God be with your mom, you and your family.

Hope she's doin' better!

Andy, sorry to hear about your mom. Best wishes for all of you.

Wes

my father died over 31 years ago. I lost a brother to brain cancer over 5 years ago.

Sadly, I am used to loss... it sucks, but it is a part of life. At the same time, my dad and my brother died way too young. Dad was 55, brother was 52.

My dad was a WWII veteran... about the only student in HS who could claim that trick! In 1953, he was stationed at Westover, Mass. He was a aircraft mechanic... working on a C133, he cut himself. The cut was not well cared for by the AF docs, and it became infected... which lead to blood poisoning... and kidney problems... The fact he made it to 1977 was something of a miracle... He had heart problems for the rest of his life. When he was diagnosed with kidney failure in the summer of 1977, he was also hit with a diagnosis of emphasima... the poor guy couldn't quit smoking. He died 10 Aug 1977. Massive stroke. As I understand it, he didn't feel a thing.

My mom's health has always been pretty good, tho. Other than severe osteoartheritis, she is in pretty good shape. She is older, 82, but seemed to be doing quite well. The dementia has really shown itself in the last 90 days, tho. I have "watched" via phone the degredation.

When my Vette died a couple weeks back, I was on the phone with her, so she knew about it. That was mid-afternoon for her. Later that evening, I am waiting for the flatbed, and I call to give her an update... I told her that I was waiting on the flatbed... her response? "Andrew is having problems with his car, too." Oh... not good... You see, I AM ANDREW. Who did she think she was talking to? It also gets worse as the day progresses; it's called the sunset effect.

My brother was a classic example of that... his brain cancer was taking him away, one sense... one emotion at a time. In the morning hours, he was actually doing pretty good. As the day progressed, he just couldn't do it anymore. He died, peacefully, sometime after going to bed on 30 May 2003, in his sleep. I saw him last on Thursday, 29 May. The poor mans skull was so swollen from the tumours... when I saw him in state, the swelling was gone. That quick. I miss him, as I miss my dad, but I would not want them back if it meant all that pain and suffering. It's just not worth it.

I started to worry about mom about 3 years ago... she had a fall in the spring of 2006. That summer, she had a deal with the neighbour lady to mow the lawn. The deal was simple - she would use the tractor and would mow both lawns. Real easy. The neighbour, who is a very sweet and caring person, isn't all that connected with proper care of equipment... of any kind. So it sat outside. When I was talking to mom, she asked if I had any ideas why the tractor wouldn't start... I was unsure, so the exchange:

ME: "well, as long as it stays in the shed, gets used regularally, has fresh gas, it should be ok."
MOM: "oh, it's been outside at the neighbours house."
ME: "uh, why?"
MOM: "I don't want her to have a key to the shed."
ME: "hello? You are letting a $1000 tractor get ruined so as to protect $50 worth of shovels and flower pots?"
MOM: <silence>

I beleive the tractor was finally returned after the neighbour lady broke it. I never did find out what failed... but she would let the grass grow way too high and then would cut it way too low... not a good mix. I suspect she stalled/overheated it.

That should have been the first red flag. Dementia, for the rest of the peanut gallery can be triggered by traumatic events. In mom's case, the passing of my brother and the fall - that fall in Mar 2006 had her laying on the laundry room floor for nearly 20 hours. I am about as sure as I can be she had a minor stroke or a series of TIA's. But she is too stubborn to get checked. Or even believe it was possible.

That's my diatribe... If you have older parents/loved ones, watch for strange behaviour. Get their wealth into trust ASAP. It will protect it for them so the nursing home systems don't screw them out of their hard work and legacy. Get a good lawyer to set up the trust. I am sure you can find one who is knowledgeable in elder care. Do this with their knowledge, but also be willing to move without their support. My mom had a belligerant streak, and it kept us from moving. No more. She delayed way too long. I hope we can shelter some of her wealth in trust, but I am not holding my breath. It's not that she is loaded, but she is doing ok. I would hate to see it flush away... she worked way too hard to amass it. and was way too cranky whilst doing it.

my advice.... please take heed. It won't be easy. But you must be firm and stand your ground. Get a united front established with your siblings, so they have no wiggle room. The siblings must work together on this for the common good. Trusts should be started when the parents reach their late 60s, early 70s. It will save a visit to probate and it sure will shelter the wealth from medical bills.

What's the auction for?

I'd hope if I left home for 3 weeks nobody would take all my stuff and auction it off.

Our prayers are with you and your family Andy. Things will work themselves out just be patient.

Mike and Ellen. :angel7:

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Ditto that!
Andy, Take Care... Wish you the best

donhaller

Hope for the best for your Mom. My Mom is 82 also and it only goes to show, it's always something. I'm lucky that I have 3 sisters that live near her and help her out. They seem to know what to do. I know that one day I will get that call. I better get up to see Mom soon. Like in the next week or two. Best wishes for you and your family Andy.

The auction is to clear out stuff she didn't take with.

She is now in a hospital in Lake Placid. She is physically ok... but the mental is getting bad... she is constantly pissed off and very belligerent. Not good. It's the dementia talking.

Thank you all for the words and support. It really means a lot.

I wish you well through this !! I too have been through it before.... its never easy.

Bogus, I sent you a pm. I hope it went thru. I am here for you in anyway I can assist. My family has had similar experiences and my grandfather is with a brain tumour. I am here if you need to talk or a shoulder to cry on. I sent you contact information so please don't feel you have to battle this alone. I think I speak for everyone when I say the forum is here for you! Goodluck and you are in my prayers.

I got it and replied. Thanks!

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Anytime. I consider you a friend of mine and friends are there for each other.

Andy, our prayers and thoughts are with your mom and you and your family. God speed and prayers are answered.