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| vetteblondie | Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Figger me out something. And I'm serious - when a man is in a relationship with a decent woman who takes care of her own stuff, pays her own bills, is nice looking and is very good to him and he decides to cheat on her - why does he pic a TRAILER SL*T? Honestly. I really want to know. I dated someone a bit back and found out he cheated on me with one co-worker - a bony bleach blonde chick who dressed like a man, talked like one too and was just simply put an old dried up ugly ho about 48 yrs old. I was 38 at the time. The 2nd one was the one pictured below. About my same age but looks much older, dyed hair (different every time you see her) looks like a trailer tramp, and the third one was a huge woman my age, tops out about 400, and is a drunk and a pill head with a pierced tongue and she slept with her dauther's boyfriend, even!
If my lawn were to be passed over by greener grass on the other side I could ALMOST understand, but WTF am I doing wrong? Seriously? I try to keep myself up, look nice, take care of my own bills, don't ask for stuff, am not jealous or nosy, fix my own things and if he stays here, I keep laundry done and things and really don't ask much except a little help here and there. I'd make someone a real good husband some day. I was at a birthday party for a friend's kid when she was there too and happened to sit across from me. She kept staring at me so I took this pic of her. She got up and moved. So, the poll: why this? Attach file:  paula.jpg (166.54 KB) |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 4:33
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| Curtis1974 | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Elite Guru
 
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I guess I would have to say that is has to do more with the guy than you. Some guys just don't care what they have and will do anything that moves. It sounds like you are a great lady and have your sh*t together. If I wasn't devoted to my wife and family, you sound like the perfect woman. Hang in there. The right guy is out there somewhere for you.
BTW, that woman is pretty homely looking! |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 5:19
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| 383tpimachine | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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My new world views may be off since I just turned 19 but its usually not the girl. Its the adrenaline, beer, drugs, stupidity of the guy that makes it happen.
I have been subject to the stupid drunk one and lost a relationship but hell I was 17 and didnt care. Whereas i would hope an older guy would grow up more than I. Sorry to hear about your string of crappy guys. Eventually one will come along |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 5:25
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| Calm | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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(way back machine) Back in high school, there were three of the HOTTEST girls alive. They had it ALL. Totally beautiful and killer bodies.....even had really kind and warm personalities, all three of them. Just that they had no attraction to us normal (boring?) guys.
They always dated the "bad boys". Our bad boys were the total assholes of the school. And I mean assholes. Pricks, actually. Bullies that had a following. One of them (the 'leader') had a '70 440 Roadrunner that was in the bodyshop more often than on the street (roll-overs, etc) then, upon graduation got a brand new '74 454 vette. Everything paid for by his hard working parents (his immigrant parents lived in a shack out in the country ~only child~) This one guy, I wonder how he's made out in life? Probably relied on screwing others around him to get what HE wants (and thinks he deserves)....but all with a practiced ability to convince others to 'believe' in him. There were 5 of us gear heads (shop class nerds) that married between 1995 and 1997. Collectively we 5 have been married 162 years. And we've all been satisfied (happy) 75% (121.5 years) of that time. Roadrunner Asshole wants to be happy 100% of his time. Ok, I'm a bit drunk.  |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 7:55
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| bogus | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Grand Imperial Pooh-Bah
 
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The bad boy thing was a real issue when I was growing up...
all the nice girls went into the arms of the bastards... the druggies... the bullies... you name it... they went there... and all in an attempt to "fix them." |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 9:45
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| CasetheCorvetteman | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Letty, this is something ive always wondered myself.
There is no really good answer for it, but some guys are just like that. Its just how it is. My old man was like that, my mum did everything for that arsehole, and he still cheated. The man has issues. Not only did his attitude cost him his marriage, it cost him his only son, and recently cost him his only daughter. He only had his mum and his brother left, cause he lost the respect of his sister about 18 years ago. I say HAD cause he recently also lost some of the respect of his brother, and probably his mother as well. I spoke to my uncle a few days ago for the first time in many years, and not through lack of trying on his part and mine, i didnt have his number, and he was told by my ex father that he didnt have mine. The tides have now turned, and im back in contact with the rest of my family. At the end of the day, that story may or may not relate to what you say above, but i dont know why they do it and i dont care to know. Its not worth your stress. Youre a better person than that, ive known you long enough and talked to you enough to know that much. You know im always here if ya need to talk to someone ;) |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 10:56
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| vetteblondie | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Thanks guys.
It just seems that every single person I've dated turns out like this, and this one even tried to 'make me part of the family' taking me to stuff, reunions and all that and they even treated me like that. I've told them all what's happened. Up to them to deal with him now. I've dated different age people, different backgrounds/jobs, you name it. Even the 'nice ones' to start with end up horrible. The one I got the most serious with had a 6 year old daughter. I had no idea till she filled me in on 'daddy's other friends' one day and showed me photos of them. She has her own digital camera. Then he was supposed to be over here one evening and didn't show so I went there and he was there with someone else. I really don't need this during the holidays, I've had enough bullshit for one person for one year. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 13:48
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| Mekanic | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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the bad boy thing is still an issue, even now, and at my age, its sickening.
Now, I can only speak honestly as a guy. In a relationship, a guy can learn to stop chasing pussy. But most guy's, can't learn the correct thing to do when it chases us. Women get offered sex 94885943 times a day, you've built up an immunity.. and in some woman's cases have become very hardened by all the advances, making it nearly impossible for someone who is not looking for sex to approach without the woman putting up her anti-penar shield. Men don't get offered anything ever, so when it happens, most men don't know what the hell to do, other than say yes. BUT, on the account of the 400lber... I have no effin idea what was wrong with that d-bag, every guy, no matter how much of a dog, should have standards. It's 95% likely it isn't anything to do with you, its that the guys you've dated aren't used to female attention, and/or don't know how to sustain a real relationship. Either that or the trailer park ho was into some super-freaky chit that most self respecting women wouldn't think of doing. [/guy] |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 13:53
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| Matatk | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Unfortunately, to guys like that it's just another bang and it doesn't matter what she looks like. But let's be 100% realistic here, I have known chicks that were like that, too. None that I dated, but I used to work in a bar so a lot of types of people.
Matthew |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 13:56
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| 1Fast04Vert | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Elite Guru
 
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Waiting for Tiger Woods to chip in here (speaking of idiots).
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 14:04
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| Matatk | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Quote:
100% prime example of this phenomenon. Has a hot supermodel wife at home and is out banging cocktail waitresses. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 14:05
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| BillH | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Because none of it will make a difference to a cheater, once a cheater/lier - always a cheater. IT AIN'T YOU. First, you have my utmost respect for the way you live, take care of all ths yourself, work on your car, work on your house. (Independent women scare some guys). Beats the hell out of "Don't put the top down, it'll mess up my hair" Secondly, finding a good, trustworthy mate is mostly a matter of luck, right place, right time. Consider: 50% plus of the marridges here fail. I'll bet 90% of the unmarried relationships fail. A wise man once said "In the end of life, you can count your friends on one hand". Profound saying about the people you can really and truly trust. The bad boy thing is kinda BS, there's just as many bad girls. basically just selfish people. I know, I used to date the bad girls cause I found the way more exciting (Note to self: Quit It). I lost 2 diamonds that way. A lot of the good girls I dated were boring, but that's just me. I see a lot of good girls at the racetrack with a set of headphones on and a wrench in their hands, but they're all taken. In the end, you have to be satisfied with yourself. All you guys/gals here with the good relationships - go buy your mate something very nice.  |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 14:52
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| pianoguy | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Hold your head up - any guy who would step out on a good woman, not to mention one who knows her way around a Vette, is a complete moron.
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 15:00
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| Sweet90 | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Well said Brad. Also VB, there wouldn't be enough booze on this planet to make her look good, so in reality your "man" was nothing but a douche bag. Keep looking girl, the cream always rises to the top. Jim |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 16:04
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| CorvetteBob | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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I'm gonna get flamed pretty bad here, but I was once one of the afore-mentioned bottom feeders.
As for me, it kinda went like this; In high school, I was continuously told,"let's be friends." The week I graduated I met a great girl and we dated all summer and into her freshman year at college. Then I was told, "Let's be friends." No one's fault, just the way it was. When I went thru college, I got so many of the,"let's be friends" statements, that I made the decision that I had to be like the jerks to be interesting. So, I became one, and proceded to pork nearly every girl I could. This became a learned behavior for me that lasted to the extent that I couldn't understand or realise when someone genuinely cared about me. That behavior even extended into the dating relationship I had with my wife. Twice. I eventually settled down and got with the program and have been faithful since. At this point I'm not gonna wreck the life we have together for some strange. My point is this, some guys just don't know any better, some can't understand that someone could care about them. Some guys just need to feed their ego thru "the chase." Some are just slime. Say what you want, but that's who I was. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 16:55
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| teebee | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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VB, I'm not sure that I can answer your question any better than what has been said already. But I will say that, from all the da*n psych courses we were required to take, that some men are just like that. Unfortunately, it appears that there are more and more of them all the time. From someone who has been happily married for 34 years (we've been going together since we were sophomores in high school 38 years), I've been tempted by women, but I never gave in to the temptations...it just isn't worth it. Your guy just doesn't see it that way I guess. Hopefully you'll find someone that sees things that way someday.
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 17:03
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| bogus | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Grand Imperial Pooh-Bah
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Quote:
Bob, So well put. I cannot disagree. I have been that nice guy on the end of "lets be friends..." I made so damned many friends I lost count. So I tried the jerk approach, that never worked cause I couldn't sell it. I then get emotionally flamed by a woman about 12 years ago and found that YES I can be a jerk! But it didn't stick that hard. But it was enough to finally break through the flotsom and jetsom that are relationships. I learned a lot about what they want and what I need and want. I then changed my tune from desparately seeking someone to a more laid back approach... and you know something - it was the right call. I met Bastet44 in March of 2003... we have been married now for just over 4 years... and I don't have a regret in the world. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 17:25
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| CentralCoaster | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Were you putting out?
That'd be one reason. In fact, that's gotta be the only reason to go elsewhere to someone that tips the scales at 400 lbs, convenience. I think some guys want a wreck that needs them all the time. It's a power-trip thing. If you have your act together, they don't feel needed. So you shouldn't be with that type of guy in the first place. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 17:40
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| CentralCoaster | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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He's either a successful used car salesman by now, or he's the Fonz at the local bar. Chicks don't seem to realize until they're 40 and used up that the nerds usually cheat less and make more money. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/14 17:42
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| CasetheCorvetteman | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Shit mate give me the girl with the act together any day. Its much easier to not have to do everything for 2 people!! |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 0:06
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| vetteblondie | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Putting out? LOL!
you think I'd actually do without my share? |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 0:08
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| CasetheCorvetteman | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Id hope not, when did you say you were coming over here?
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 0:25
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| cuisinartvette | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Guys do weird things for weird reasons.
I hear of so many that get intimidated by an independent woman, I think thats an attractive quality for sure. Maybe he was insecure....some guys cheat just becuase its there, its so hard to say. most guys will mess around period hate to say, very small percentage dont. I mean real small. Its not your fault, you just got ahold of a bad one. Move on and find someone worth your time. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 0:26
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| CasetheCorvetteman | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Me too. I dont know any bloke with any sense that wouldnt!! Quote:
Bloody good idea mate, ill 2nd that motion ;) |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 0:29
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| Ultraman | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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2015 Memorial Day Car Show Winner!
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I was a bad boy for the first 30 years. Hardtail Harleys and big block Corvettes. Lots of drinking and fighting. Many broken relationships. I squeezed a 4 year degree into 13 years. I was a mess. but I was having fun.
I woke up one morning hung over as usual, looked around and realized that I was heading no where real fast. I was not only heading there I had arrived. Deep down I wanted better but I needed help. I got down and did something weird I asked the Lord for some help and it was fast in coming. Got locked up for DUI (and speeding in that big block Vette)the next night and it was at that point I said enough. I quit drinking ( I know that scares a lot of you especially if you are from down under)and smoking and packed up and moved far away and started over. What the hell I had been drunk for 15 years, that was enough. I saw booze as the core of what all the fighting and broken relationships came from for me. I could not handle it. I had to change who I had become and get back to who I really was. to do this I had to radically change my life. I did that and I started hanging with some square folks and the rest is history. Sometimes you need a change of scenery and who and where you hang out. I still have my bad ass Harley and my Corvette (very small block)but I also have a trophy wife of 26 years and 3 great kids and a good business. Start looking for quality guys, the older they get the more baggage they have but they are out there. You will find someone if you are willing to look in the right places. Sorry this got so long! |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 2:39
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| Jeffvette | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Elite Guru
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Well, let me go on a little bit of a rant.
There are fucked up people, both male and female. The percentage of humans who can suppress their urges to screw anything is low. I personally do not believe that humans were meant to be with one person forever. We change so much from the time we are born till we die, that we are often nothing like we thought. Think back to when you were 20, then to 30 and so on. I look back at my grandparents who married for life, and I just don't see it. The only reason I can think why is they were indoctrinated into believing that via religion. I have become very jaded against women in general mainly because every woman I have met has just been gold nugget grubbing bitch. When I go out on dates, I take the truck. We go to a medium price establishment to eat, so it's not like I'm throwing money around. But it's amazing to see their difference when they find out what I have in the garage and the places I have been and am going. It's like a light switch goes off and they change. With that I have found that I don't want a relationship. I have also found the best women in the world to screw around with are the married ones. Most are too damn scared to get attached and leave their current husbands. So I have a good time and they leave. I get no drama. Now you might be a catch, but the selection pool of men that you are getting in Arkansas is not the pinnacle of dating life. Which is part of the problem. It might be worthwhile to open up the dating scene in Memphis. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 8:59
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| cuisinartvette | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Dont even get me started on jaded...more like disappointed with the truth of whats out there these days.
Renting isnt all that bad. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 15:03
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| vetteblondie | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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I guess you'd call me 'jaded' after all this. And yes, I've dated some from Memphis, they aren't any better. I think I just need to get this house sold and simply move off to where I know no one and start all over.
And, this nut had the nerve to bitch at me for calling him out on his cheating! WTF! He's just mad I was smart enough to catch him. I have noticed a pattern in recent years and it always happens the same way, so when I start seeing clues I start paying attention and in no time, he will usually rat himself out without realizing it. I'd rather be alone and have my sanity. Relationships simply aren't worth it. The difference between him and me is simple: If I am seeing you and care about you and get other 'offers' I say "no thanks, I'm seeing someone" and go on. If I get unhappy I'll let you know, otherwise assume things are fine. I will leave you before I cheat on you. I have more respect for others than that. Him: Will say he cares bout you and all that baloney, but a slug slides by and instead of having respect for who's putting a roof over his head and saying 'no thanks' he chats up, gets interested, then looks for ways to pick a fight with me and make it look like it's all my fault so he has a way out. What a p&ssy.... I try to make sure I keep my guy happy in all respects, but yes some people change and unless you change together or work it out, it won't work. All good relationships take effort, but I'll be dam&ed if I be a provider for ANY man especially when he makes more than me only to be taken advantage of. Jeff - I agree with your rant - seems same on my end - when a guy figures out I don't question things, and pay my own bills and car and mess, he sees a gold mine and moves in for what he can get for free and use me. This dood made $20k more than me with only a couple of credit card bills. Yet was at my place and did not do crap or pay crap to help out. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 15:38
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The answer to any question that begins with "Am I the only one who..." is always "no". �Ugol's Law Yes, I'm a bitch... just not YOURS.
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| CentralCoaster | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Senior Guru
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Damn, sounds like a good deal.
Can I move in? I'm tired of paying bills 'n shit. Do you have cable and is your couch comfortable? |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 17:00
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| bogus | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Grand Imperial Pooh-Bah
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I knew this girl back home... nice kid, married her high school sweetie... all cute and stuff.
Well, they separated and he never let her forget she had an affair whilst they were separated... except, he was living with someone whilst they were separated!!!! What a hypocrit. One night at the local bar, I ran into them together. They and reconciled, at least for that week. The asshole gave me such an attutude, I was ready to take him down. Really. Glowering at me like I was some kind of interloper, when in reality, I was the real reason they were back together. She wanted to get back, and I encouraged her to try... that way she would not regret not having done her all to save the relationship. Well... I was pissed at him and decided my plan of attack... she emailed the next day and said things just weren't right and apologized for his attitude. I replied that it was time for her to cut bait and move on. I did it with this email (I paraphrase from memory): 1. You get sick (she had a lymphoma). 2. He can't deal, and moves out. 3. Shacks up with girl. 4. Blames you for the break up. 5. You have affair. 6. Blames you for affair. 7. You try to get back together. 8. Fails. Blames you for affair. 9. You work at things, get back again. 10. Things are ok-ish. He still blames you for affair. 11. And you forgive him. HA! Something to that effect. It was priceless. It worked, too. She finally saw the timeline and the bullshit he was spewing. I guess what gets me in many relationships is the lack of real give/take. It's not a partnership; it's a title holding. Perhaps religion has made marriage and the lifetime commitment the right thing... but if you DO find that person, don't make the mistake of letting them go because you think it's time... I believe that the human condition needs some consistancy in its life... without it, we would lose our focus. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 18:58
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The single biggest problem with communication is the illusion that it has taken place. - George Bernard Shaw Education is the best tool to overcome irrational fear. - me |
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| SpectatorRacing | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Elite Guru
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People want drama. If they're not getting it they create it.
Being good and trustworthy and the genuine article only works if you're dating someone that wants that. Most people don't. Personally, I've had the "perfect gal" and the trainwreck. I got bored with both (and a host of in-betweens) and moved on. Variety is the spice of life... At least I broke up with 'em before I jumped in the sack with someone else. At least most of the time. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/15 22:09
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| JrRifleCoach | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Elite Guru
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Whew! That was a long read.
Forgive me for not complaining about being married 32 years... |
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Posted on: 2009/12/16 5:48
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| pianoguy | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Guru Emeritus
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Once I figured out I was always wrong and could live with that, life was peaceful ;-) |
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Posted on: 2009/12/16 14:20
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1996 LT4 �Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.�- Jack Handey |
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| vetteblondie | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Master Guru
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I will never get married again. Period.
Took me twice to learn and a lot of money spent trying to get rid of them, done with that! |
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Posted on: 2009/12/16 15:28
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The answer to any question that begins with "Am I the only one who..." is always "no". �Ugol's Law Yes, I'm a bitch... just not YOURS.
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| Sweet90 | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Elite Guru
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Never say never VB
Jim |
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Posted on: 2009/12/16 15:46
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| Livin_the_dream | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Senior Guru
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Quote:
 I too said I would never get married again. I was married twice. Then in Sept I spent a week in the hospital , the docs and nurses got me to realize I was real lucky not to be taking a dirt nap. However to the point- I too have been on both sides of this topic. But the person I am with now has stood beside me through thick and thin. She's getting a diamond for Christmas, not sure if we will ever get married but I thought I would never buy another ring and I did. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/17 3:41
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| Calm | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Senior Guru
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Livin'
What was the illness that almost killed you? Glad you pulled through and glad you've found someone special to you. |
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Posted on: 2009/12/17 4:38
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| vetteblondie | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Master Guru
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Quote:
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Posted on: 2009/12/17 4:58
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_________________
The answer to any question that begins with "Am I the only one who..." is always "no". �Ugol's Law Yes, I'm a bitch... just not YOURS.
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| CasetheCorvetteman | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Elite Guru
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Mate in Australia, VB is a brand of beer!! Its not one i personally recomend, im more into XXXX or Tooheys. Recently ive taken the advice of ABoatGuy and moved on to Stout. HAHAHA!!
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Posted on: 2009/12/17 9:46
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| Livin_the_dream | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Senior Guru
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I thought I was getting a cold- congested short of breath- tired quickly. Being stubborn I just kept pushing myself harder. I went to the Emergency room because my leg was sore and tight. Turns out I had a blood clot in my leg. The CT scan showed I had a PE in both lungs. Basically the clot broke went through the heart and lodged in my both lungs. It could have been much worse had the broken pieces of clot been either larger or smaller. Larger and it could have stopped all air to my bloodstream . Smaller and it could have went to my brain and caused a stroke.
I get a CT scan next week to check out the progress but I feel fine . Sure gave me a lot of perspective about life and whats important to me |
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Posted on: 2009/12/18 2:30
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| CasetheCorvetteman | Re: Ok, A guy question please..... | ||
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Elite Guru
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Lucky you pulled up ok mate eh?
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Posted on: 2009/12/18 10:30
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